Don't ask me about pizza

I never want to eat pizza ever again. I currently have one slice rudely sitting in the bottom of my belly. And I'm thinking that I never want to eat pizza again. I feel so sick. I think my body is actually revolting against the bad food.
So after I ate the pizza and started feeling this way, I decided to counter the bad food with something a little more healthy. The problem is that I am currently locked in the house of bad-for-you-food.

Cheese and crackers- my favorite snack which I often use as a full blown dinner. In my house, I always keep a brick of delicious gourmet cheese from France or Denmark, or Bulgaria. The cheeses are smooth and delectable and I hack at them with a proper cheese knife. My crackers are usually crispy water crackers laced with black pepper. But when I open the fridge here, I see Kraft American Cheese Product in the individual packages, yes the ones that were invented for grilled cheese sandwiches back in 1982 and white saltine crackers caked with salt crystals. My stomach turns.

Yogurt- In my fridge you will always find low-fat plain yogurt with live cultures, good for digestion and settling the stomach. I am thinking that yogurt might be the solution to my upset tummy. All I find is sugary high fat strawberry cheesecake, red dye #4 flavored yogurt. I just can't do it.

Water- I got to the point where I had no other choice but to wash it all down with water. Only, I normally drink sparkling water with lime, again to aid in settling the stomach, and the bubbles remove all of the excess space between food and it feels so great and refreshing. After drinking a glass I always feel light. The Europeans all do it, so there must be something to it. The beverage choices here are vast, but chocked full of sugar. Apple juice, which I refuse to drink ever since I heard that one of my friend's cousins had to have all of her baby teeth pulled because she only drank apple juice as an infant and it actually rotted right through her teeth. Tampico, which I cannot stand. If it's not squeezed from an orange, don't serve it to me. Fully-loaded Coke, a beverage which I dearly love (hate diet coke) but gave up in an effort to be more healthy and to lose weight. And regular water. I went with regular water. Thing to be thankful for- you can get water almost anytime anywhere in this country.

At 8:30 my niece requested popcorn. This of course would be of the microwavable variety. I burned the first bag, which is now smelling up the house and making me nauseous, and my niece ate some of the second bag. I don't know if I am ok with freeze dried things that you put in the radiation box on top of your stove to force cook. When did this happen? I used to be a ramen noodle eater with the best of 'em. I am by no means a health fanatic, but I guess I cannot conscientiously eat that which will damage my body. I still feel awful, even 4 hours after the pizza episode. I think my only saving grace has been the huge bag of tangerines I finally found in the back of the fridge. I feel like I need to run to the food safe haven that is my house as quickly as I can in order to survive.