Sunday, March 30, 2008

Why I should move- Part 2

Reason #362 why I should move away from Houston- I opened my windows this morning on what seems to be a glorious morning only to be slapped in the face by 97% humidity.

Why I should move

Reason #736- why I should move away from Houston- I had my first allergy attack yesterday.

In other news, my Israeli coffee is tasting exceptional this morning!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I heart art

This weekend Houston had one of their annual art festivals, which I went to with my 3 boys. We had such a lovely time walking around outside (which you all know I love to do) chit chatting, looking at art, and just enjoying the day together. No rushing, no schedules, just being.

Here are a couple of the artists which I heart (yes this is the theme for my blog this week "things I heart")

Lori Storey

This artist takes actual pieces from the natural surroundings in Greece, and casts them with copper, silver or gold to make her jewelry. This was my favorite I've seen by her.

Juan Felipe Barreneche

Nature watches- made from wood. All different kinds. I love them for a casual watch, they are just so different.

Audrey Heller

I just think she is so clever! Each photo so cute.

Kate Barrere

There were two things unique to this artist. The first is these pop dots which she has a ton of. I would love to have a whole collection of these funky little oval pieces. The other was her mixed medium art- of which she has no good examples on her website.

Then there is Mark Traughber I just don't know what to say about Mark. First of all, I am in love with him. Second of all, he is a way cool guy. Thirdly, Cute D and I have decided that he really should have made out with me when he had the chance. And last- he was the hottest man I have seen in a long, long time--manly, unshaven, messy hair, motorcycle boots, aviators- scrumptious. All of that aside, I really liked looking at his creations.

Friday, March 28, 2008

I heart this man

I just have to tell you that the craziest phenomenon has been happening. At least 8 times over the last couple of days, if not more...I will be in one room, my phone in another room. I randomly walk up to my phone, pick it up and your picture will be on my screen and there you are calling. Right at that moment. It's not as if I have 3 missed calls from you, or that I was waiting for a call back from you, or that I know what your schedule is. I think we are just in sync. Somehow. Tonight, I was eating with a group of friends, and in the middle of dinner I reach into my purse for my phone to check emails or if I have any missed calls from my family and there you are calling me right at that moment. The eerie part about it is that my phone was on silent from work and I had no idea you were back from your trip. I think I just feel your presence.

An ode to my girls' happiness

What are you all up to? I am not sure, but the stars are all aligning in your favor.

*Your man is leaving his roommate for you. Leaving his life from across the ocean, risking all for his happiness and yours. The next 60 years will be bliss and all because you were the ultimate stalker. Good work. I'm real proud of you. Elmo for 5 years and 7 months- I'm impressed. I better be a bridesmaid...and soon. Of all the potentials in the last years, I feel this one and I think you do too. Now that we have come to a place where we can recognize, embrace and be grateful for the amazing people which are put in our path- go girl. Run full force and do not stop.

**A huge apology you received last night. Late night convos showed his true feelings. The guilt, sorrow, and pain that he has felt over the last year were all revealed. I feel like this is a turning point for you two, and a long time coming. It's what you needed and it could not have come at a better time...for the both of you. Move forward, cautiously, from this point. But I think the breakthrough has happened. I'm just so astonished at the progress over the last 3 weeks.

***An 8 month period of awkwardness has ended. Move forward with all the joy you deserve. This weekend will be telling. May 17th, 18th and 19th will be telling. Continue your work, as it is vital to your future. But love with all of the verve you have.

****He's everything you have ever wanted. Come visit. Go with it. Move along. If this is what you have waited for, what are you still waiting for? Find out and know of a certainty that this is IT. I am so excited about the resolve with which you speak. You are right, you haven't ever talked like this about someone. I am so excited for you.

*****And even in my life there has had a bit of a revolution. The walls are coming down and we both recognize that we are willing to work, not willing to compromise, and though it may come slowly, it may come. There is a chance. Although I will not hold my breath for you any longer, I will not close the gate. Show me what you've got and we will go from there. Build my trust, care for me, be there for me and I will be for you.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I try to walk everyday. This is the thing I look forward to the most on my walks. It's progress is slow, but waiting for the full bloom is so worth it.

Ahhh events

I heart this event company in Denver. And they have an opening.

Sick again

Just when I thought I had licked it, it came back. And out of no where. It's climax came yesterday when I could no longer walk or move my arms, and only fall into a heap on the floor, crying and convulsing. It's the over exertion I think. I have to stop. Stop pushing and working and striving to make everything better, and being all to everyone.

Cute D has been my nonstop hero this week. Calling me at every break in his day, stopping by to bring me drugs and food, texting to check in with me when he can't call. He brightens my day each time his name shows up on my phone or in my inbox. He is a constant source of happiness to me. Gold Reeves, thank you for checking in with me constantly. I know you are worried, but I am feeling better, and staying home from work today. I'm super excited about your trip, and more excited about the things to come! Person A even stepped up yesterday, coming by the house and lifting me into bed and helping me drink from a straw, as I could not lift my head, making me soup for lunch and picking up dinner, as I am totally incapable of cooking at this point. Roselyn, my boss, has been invaluable as well, taking time out of her day to drive me to the lab to have my blood work done, running me by the pharmacy to pick up my Rx, and making me stay home to rest. I can't thank her enough.

I suppose this is one of those mornings when you are truly thankful for the people that God puts in your life. Thank you guys!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

My brother- the purest soul that ever was

This is an understatement. My brother is always proving to us, without trying, what a pure soul he is. He never ceases to amaze me. If you meet my brother, he is quirky and socially awkward. He might engage you in a lengthy conversation about the Israeli Army or Paintball, or pyrotechnics or some other thing that no one else on the planet knows about. But when you get past all of that, he is the gentlest soul I have ever met.

About 2 months ago, he and my mom were both interviewing for jobs. A month later my brother had not gotten the job he had interviewed for, but my mom found out she had been offered the position she was trying for. Our entire family was full of glee, and still is. My mom told me later that my brother had prayed to Baha'u'llah that if only one job could be had, that he wished my mom could have her job. And she got it. He sacrificed his own well being and progress for that of my mom and dad. He brings tears to my eyes. It is moments like these that I realize that my brother is a great man. And he will be a great husband and father too.

I am proud to call these people my family!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Some things about me

1. I hate ketchup
2. Do not touch my clavicle (if you don't know what that is, look it up)
3. I like plain yogurt more than ice cream
4. I hate it when my ears are wet
5. I have a huge desire to sell everything I own and start all over
6. I'm not longing for love at the moment
7. If I go to the spa, I always get a facial and a pedicure
8. I'm really good at giving the perfect gift
9. I've decided to use up all of the mini soaps and lotions I've collected over the last many years of traveling before buying any bath products again
10. I have two cats- Li'l Girl and Prieta
11. I'm really proud of my Mom
12. I actually like Bon Jovi
13. I would love to have a job as a ridiculously rich person's personal assistant
14. If I had a million dollars- I'd buy a Kitchen Aid Mixer
15. I was a classical ballerina for 18 years
16. I love Denmark and would live there in a heartbeat
17. I always have a trip planned, it keeps me going
18. I color code my closet
19. My chap-stick is as big as a glue stick and people often mistake it as one
20. In my opinion, lime is a superior citrus to lemon
21. I smiled today when I saw brightly colored Easter eggs in someone's front yard
22. I always get my hair cut on my birthday
23. One of my favorite lines from any song is: "The bravest thing I've ever done, is run away and hide"
24. I love sleeping with the windows open
25. Likewise, I drive with the moon roof open all of the time
26. I'm already planning my 30th Birthday party- it's 8 months away
27. hgggggggggybbbbbbbbb- Prieta wanted you to know that about me
28. I want to move so bad that I look at condos everyday
29. I am about to pay my car off-it's possibly going to be the most exciting day of my life

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Finishing Things

I love finishing things. It brings me so much joy to finish an entire bottle of shampoo before opening the next bottle. I love the look of a completely clean room- finished and clean down to dusting and making the bed perfectly. I'll often times even close the door behind me so that I know that it is done. It's no wonder that my career is full of finishing things. My favorite part of an event is when it is over. It's like a big breath that I get out of feeling the completeness of something. So you can imagine my joy and excitement when I finished my bottle of medication in December, when I was no longer feeling any symptoms of Lupus running through my body. I finished the bottle regardless, just to feel that satisfaction I have grown to love so much. I've been really happy about not having to refill that Rx. Until this last week. I've had the flare up of a lifetime. I have spent the last week unable to walk and grab things with my hands, and rolling over in bed is out of the question. The bottoms of my feet even started to hurt by Friday. At first I thought that these pains I was feeling were from that strenuous game of paintball I played last weekend, but alas after 7 days of excruciating pain, I've resigned to the fact that the disease has taken over again. Ugh! But I'm fighting it. I refilled the Rx and am going to take it to completion then re-assess. I was so ready to be done with it forever.

With a flare up I know that it didn't just come about unwarranted. As before, the amount of stress that I have been enduring over the last couple of weeks is way above the amounts I have experienced over the last 3 months. Person A and I starting to talk again. Person A's father passing away. Person A's mother ousting me from the family. Oh wait, could it be the re-entry of Person A back into my life bringing about the stress? Not that it's all his fault, but his presence, I think, is actually harmful to me. Gaz said once that there was a person in her life who was toxic to her- could this be the problem? Is Person A toxic to me? Do I need to just be done and finished with Person A once and for all? Will the relief of the end be the breath that I need to live a happy, healthy, fulfilled life? The answer remains to be seen. I'm trying to make a decision, but don't want to react too quickly in the longing for my breath that I make the wrong choice.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Phone calls and texts

Gold Reeves mentioned to me one time about this Blog she reads which contains an entry every now and then with nothing but this person's random texts. I thought I would share a couple which are interesting in my life right now, but also include a couple of phone calls and emails as well.

I was wakened this morning at 6:55am by my favorite cousin Courtney. I was excited to see her name come across my caller ID as she is currently in Israel on Pilgrimage and any chance I can get to chat with her is a jolt for my soul. She sounds so happy to be there and to be experiencing all of the joys that 9 days in Haifa can bring. Here's how the conversation went:
Good morning!
Uhm, if I was at Fatoosh having lunch, what should I get?
Definitely a toast with turkey and Bulgarian cheese.
Thanks, love you bye.
Love you too bye.

This is what I can recall, but that was the gist, and yes, it was almost that short.

Voicemail I got from Cute D a couple of weeks ago, which I save as a reminder:
It's Darren, I just called to say hi and was wondering how your days going. I was also calling as a gentle reminder to make sure you take care of yourself today and don't try to take on too much. I know it's a busy day, and there's a lot going on, but try. I of course am here to talk if you need me. And I love you.

Text I got from Person A last night:
Hey, how was your day?
Not sure what to do with that.

Text to and from Cute D regarding a fight we were fighting with others, and losing, about dinner plans:
OMG, where are you? I need backup
My blind texting response back as I'm trying to drive down one of the busiest streets in Houston:
Wait!! Golf tour ground.
which was supposed to say:
Wait!! Hold your ground.
We are still laughing about it.

Voicemail from my niece:
Aunt Jen,
Uhm, I was calling to see how you were doing...
Uhm, I'm selling Girl Scout Cookies again, and was hoping you would buy some...
Uhm, so call me back if you can...
Uhm, I love you...

The follow-up conversation is even better:
Aunt Jen, I need to sell 16 boxes of cookies to win a prize.
To which I of course respond
And actually purchase $56 worth of Girl Scout Cookies

Text from Gold Reeves, which is how I shall refer to you in my blog forever now:
We're Nesting
I love it! Congrats on your new place!

Email from KK today:
BLOG, Woman!
Alright already...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Another Random & Sundry Entry

Despite all of my brother's quirkiness, I think he is the most magnificent person on this earth, and by far the purest soul I've ever met.

I got a $311 cell phone bill today, I'm healing it with dark chocolate chocolate chips. They're helping.

I have a new fence, it's very exciting. Not as exciting as a new pair of shoes, but exciting nonetheless.

I need a roommate, but just until June...then I'll be fine.

I am loving my new golf clubs- thanks Dad. Golf makes me happy.

I have a pile of clean clothes to hang up. I don't want to, but I should so that my week runs smoothly. I know, it's the little things.

My old friend Angie is an awesome artist, please check out her blog and etsy stuff- Fair Ophelia. I'm really proud of her being a mom and doing her craft. She is a success to me.

Stars when you shine, you know how I feel.

This has been a long weekend, or it feels like it. Maybe that's because I packed it full of lots of things. I feel like I actually had a break though. I feel refreshed.

Should I or shouldn't I go to Dallas. It may not be my decision.

I hope I am not in as much pain tomorrow as I am today. I'll never make it through the day.

Tackled Fear

I tackled a fear yesterday, which I knew was coming, but was trying, hopelessly, to avoid. My brother came into town this weekend and he and his girlfriend suggested that we go play paintball. I wasn’t scared about playing or shooting someone else or getting dirty for that matter- just getting shot myself. The great thing was that I technically did not get shot- in other words in the world of paintball, no paint actually burst on my clothing. Now, I remember getting “hit” by something and it stung a little, but the adrenaline is pumping in you so hard that you soon forget. Then I got home. Got in the shower. And noticed this large whelp on my right thigh- red from getting hit and showing the signs of a large bruise forming around it. This morning the purple is in full force about 2” in diameter. Not to mention that my whole body feels like it was thrown 50 feet by a mack truck. I rolled, yes rolled, out of bed this morning when my brother left to drive 14 hours back to St. Louis. Thank God these two play paintball all of the time, because there is no way in hell that I could have gotten in a car and driven 14 hours after the day of abuse that we had yesterday. Oh and thank you lovely people for making my weekend so fun!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Anger Filled Me Up

We had a conversation on Wednesday night. I was exhausted, in all respects. I couldn’t keep my eyes awake any longer and I couldn’t listen any more. My anger raged over the next two days. I scared the ones I love the most. Then I get this “having fun with your bro?” And the guilt set in. I didn’t even call to see if you wanted to see him. I didn’t call to see if you wanted to hang out. I didn’t call and invite you to go play or eat- both things you would have enjoyed. So why do I feel this way- because you softened the blow and I am now softened.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Walking Outdoors

*This photo is of the sky in my favorite city in this world.

I realized yesterday how much I enjoy walking around in the outdoors. It doesn't matter where or when, or what the weather is like at the time, I just like being outside under the wide open sky. I think it's similar to the feeling that some people get when they stand at the shore of the ocean- vast openness that only God could have created.

Yesterday morning I drove myself to work, which is unusual because I normally get dropped off at the front door of my office by my friend Cherie. It was chilly...for Houston (I realize that many of you are still suffering from winter's presence), but I chose outdoor walking anyway. See, in downtown Houston there is the extensive tunnel system, like an entire city underground with shops and pharmacies and cafes and doctor's offices, and so on. If any emergency arises in your day, you can solve it by going down in "the tunnel." The elevator for the parking garage where I park goes straight down into the tunnel where I can snake around to my building, but 10 times out of 10 I will choose to go to the street level and walk outdoors, much to the chagrin of those sharing elevator space with me who are having to make an extra stop on their own way down into the tunnel. My point was really driven home when I left work yesterday and in the pouring rain walked the 3 blocks to my car, no umbrella in hand...AND, I didn't care one bit. I think might be a contributing factor for never actually committing to going to a gym. I would rather be walking somewhere than walking in place watching CNN. I would rather be walking outdoors than inside a dark and dingy building.

So I am currently having a craving to sell my house and move downtown into a loft. This revelation came this morning on my very frustrating commute to work. Like walking on a treadmill, I am so sick of driving an hour to work that I want to scream! Cute D- why can't an EZ Tag solve my commute problems- you are so lucky. My favorite co-worker and I found this awesome loft right down the street from our office which I am dying to live in. I would never have to take my car out of the garage! I could just hit the pavement every morning and evening to and from work- Haifa style. I could walk to clubs and cafes on the weekend. I think the only time I would have to drive would be to the grocery store. Sell house, move down the street from work- done and done.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

A well-deserved entry


I've been formulating what I would write in this very entry for almost 3 days now. The reason being that it is weighty, but I have come up with nothing to honor this man, my father-in-law, who was a shining example of how a husband, father, man and Baha'i should be.

I love you Arturo.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Just me and my niece

I've been on kid duty for the last two days, as my Person A's entire family has been living at the hospital in order to hold my father-in-law up and hold each other up for that matter. The calls come in rapid succession right now, every hour there is a new update on this state, one time being good new, the next being news of the end.

In the mean time, kid duty has been way fun. My niece is the best and she is just happy to be hanging out with me. The first day I recounted in my previous blog entry, and it seems that all I could focus on was the horrible food situation, and we weren't allowed to leave the house because she was feeling quite under the weather. She's doing great today, so as soon as I could catch a break, I packed her up in the car and headed to my house, or my food refuge as I am now going to call it. I walked in, straight to the fridge for that refreshing sip of sparkling water I had so been needing. Anyway, Danniella and I played games this morning, watched cartoons, did homework, went to the park, fed the ducks by the lake, I took her to ballet class, and then we are going to go eat somewhere, not in the apartment, as I don't think I can look at those same 4 walls again, pray for Papoo.

OK, I'm writing all of this because the fact that I will enjoy being a mother has just been solidified in my mind and in my heart. Not that I am a mother, but I think that motherhood might be a little like a great big on going event. Each day a strategy in and of itself, a glorified puzzle where you must make each piece fit perfectly in order for everyone to get to school, to soccer practice, homework, dinner, bath and bed- in between time taking the dog out, attending to other family matters and washing your own hair. There are so many little details I've been given by my sister-in-law in order for the day to run smoothly- don't forget to have a dollar on you when you go to the ballet school, as Daniella always buys animal crackers for her two friends both named Sophia, oh and make sure she eats a small snack before you put her leotard on, and don't dry her tights for her uniform as they shrink to no return, etc. etc, etc. It is so great. But the fear sets in, at times, that I will not get the opportunity to be graced with this utmost important job. And I feel that my only chance to live vicariously will fade the longer that Person A and I are separated.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Don't ask me about pizza

I never want to eat pizza ever again. I currently have one slice rudely sitting in the bottom of my belly. And I'm thinking that I never want to eat pizza again. I feel so sick. I think my body is actually revolting against the bad food.
So after I ate the pizza and started feeling this way, I decided to counter the bad food with something a little more healthy. The problem is that I am currently locked in the house of bad-for-you-food.

Cheese and crackers- my favorite snack which I often use as a full blown dinner. In my house, I always keep a brick of delicious gourmet cheese from France or Denmark, or Bulgaria. The cheeses are smooth and delectable and I hack at them with a proper cheese knife. My crackers are usually crispy water crackers laced with black pepper. But when I open the fridge here, I see Kraft American Cheese Product in the individual packages, yes the ones that were invented for grilled cheese sandwiches back in 1982 and white saltine crackers caked with salt crystals. My stomach turns.

Yogurt- In my fridge you will always find low-fat plain yogurt with live cultures, good for digestion and settling the stomach. I am thinking that yogurt might be the solution to my upset tummy. All I find is sugary high fat strawberry cheesecake, red dye #4 flavored yogurt. I just can't do it.

Water- I got to the point where I had no other choice but to wash it all down with water. Only, I normally drink sparkling water with lime, again to aid in settling the stomach, and the bubbles remove all of the excess space between food and it feels so great and refreshing. After drinking a glass I always feel light. The Europeans all do it, so there must be something to it. The beverage choices here are vast, but chocked full of sugar. Apple juice, which I refuse to drink ever since I heard that one of my friend's cousins had to have all of her baby teeth pulled because she only drank apple juice as an infant and it actually rotted right through her teeth. Tampico, which I cannot stand. If it's not squeezed from an orange, don't serve it to me. Fully-loaded Coke, a beverage which I dearly love (hate diet coke) but gave up in an effort to be more healthy and to lose weight. And regular water. I went with regular water. Thing to be thankful for- you can get water almost anytime anywhere in this country.

At 8:30 my niece requested popcorn. This of course would be of the microwavable variety. I burned the first bag, which is now smelling up the house and making me nauseous, and my niece ate some of the second bag. I don't know if I am ok with freeze dried things that you put in the radiation box on top of your stove to force cook. When did this happen? I used to be a ramen noodle eater with the best of 'em. I am by no means a health fanatic, but I guess I cannot conscientiously eat that which will damage my body. I still feel awful, even 4 hours after the pizza episode. I think my only saving grace has been the huge bag of tangerines I finally found in the back of the fridge. I feel like I need to run to the food safe haven that is my house as quickly as I can in order to survive.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life-- and I'm feeling good!

Another perfect evening has just concluded. You know I am having so many perfect things about my life lately that I can hardly stand it. But I'm having so much fun.

Tonight, Cute D and I did the town up! It all started with a ridiculously delicious and wonderfully expensive, but worth every penny dinner at a fancy place in River Oaks (it's like the Belle Meade or the Cherry Creek or the Clayton of your worlds). He had scallops, I had shrimp and we topped it all off with a yummy cappuccino. Then we headed to the Buble concert, which we have been gearing up for for 2 weeks now. Oh and I didn't even talk about how fabulous we were! We were dressed to do more than impress. He in his cuff links, I in my LBD and 4 inch red patent leather heals. The streets cleared for us. The concert was thoroughly enjoyable, as Buble was in rare and X-rated form. Post dinner ensued with some late-night dining at the 24-hour New York Diner- fried pickles with ranch dress and a slice of cool key lime pie went down a treat. Back to his place for some cigars while sitting under a beautifully calm and relaxing sky. Ahhhh, I will dream about this, another perfect night as I sleep now.

Thank you Cute D for a stellar evening, as you yourself are a stellar individual!

Quote of the weekend "You can wear it to a funeral, or to a Michael Buble concert"