Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Dishes wasn't one of them

You did a lot of things today, but dishes wasn't one of them

You brewed a cup of coffee, but didn't drink it
You got dressed, but didn't pick up your socks
You sent me a text message, but didn't change the toilet paper roll
You emailed everyone under the sun, but didn't bother to feed the cats
You went shopping for sweaters, but you didn't bring the trashcans in from the curb
You're playing tennis, but you didn't check the mail

I've been waiting for days
You've done a lot of things over the last 9 days, but dishes has not been one of them.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Tipping Point

I'm reading a book- I know a phenomenon in and of itself. The Tipping Point. It's all about how people do things or buy things and it's cool, but then at some point these things become real trends. Like that one penny that takes you from a regular person to a millionaire or how one run way model wore leggings and now its a total trend and everyone is wearing leggings (that was for my girls). So this book examines at what point our actions stop climbing the side of the tower and start tipping it over. I'm not very far in the book, but it is super interesting. got me to thinking. I'm sort of at this huge crossroads in my life, and so I'm starting to evaluate what my own tipping point is. I had a chat with a little lady in Chicago the other day. She advised me to keep a journal for 6 months, everyday, of my interactions with a certain person and to start really analyzing them and examining them. At first I thought, I don't really want to do this, how laborous and painful. And, I'm not one to journal, but then I'm not one to read or have a blog either, nonetheless, here I am- journalling, blogging and reading. And surprisingly, this journalling thing has been quite liberating. I've been doing it now for about a week and it's amazing. Eye opeing. And so I thought I would need 6 months to reach my tipping point, but I'm thinking it will come a lot sooner.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

There had to be a Thanksgiving Post

On this day, I am always reminded of the best Thanksgiving and definitely most memorable Thanksgiving I have had in my life. The one year I spent this day of thanks in Israel:

Gaz, Maz and I decided to host a Thanksgiving dinner for 20 of our closest friends. We mailed crafty invitations, set out our menu plan, and ordered our Turkey. My favorite comment when menu planning- as we are going down the list of all the yummy things to make and buy "Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole..." and as we are all volunteering to get the recipe for, or plan to make each item Maz (not volunteering for anything on the list yet) yells out "Oh, I'll make the salad." WHAT?! Salad? My response was "who is going to eat a salad?" and my internal thought was "why are we wasting time making a salad?" She quickly recovered by volunteering to make the cranberries. And Maz made the salad too.

This truely was a valient effort by all. In the US we have all of the modern conveniences of Thanksgiving cooking right in our grocer's isle. Not in Israel. Things that we all take for granted like, canned cranberries and pumpkin, those bags of pre-dried and pre-seasoned stuffing, Butterball turkey, and brown and serve rolls. To start, I had to call my mom and have her go to the store in the US, purchase 1 can of pumpkin and ship it to me oversees. She was ever so gracious to do just that. But when she got to the post office to mail the pumpkin, they informed her that it would be over $10 to ship accross the world. She said no and went home, told my dad the story about how she could not justify spending over $10 to mail a can of $.99 pumpin. He sent her right back to the post office and I received my goods 10 days later. The sacrafice for this meal was just amazing. I had to find a recipe online for how to make real stuffing- I had no idea. I spent 3 days drying bread in the oven and on the counter and then cutting it into perfect cubes. And then there is the turkey- which was delivered to me in a black trashbag- like the kind that Glad makes. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into- then I opened the bag- only to find that the turkey still needed plucking. Yes, I spent the better part of Thanksgiving morning plucking the turkey. I've never done that before and...I hope to never do it again.

Also, please note that in Israel, it is not Thanksgiving Day, and they don't care about Thanksgiving- so we were also working all day. Luckily I worked across the street from where I lived so I was able to run home every hour to baste the turkey.

By the time dinner rolled around, we were about 2.5 hours late serving, but a good time was had by all. Dilerium set in and I found my friend Atash in the kitchen picking every morsal of turkey off of the bone with a fork, and at one point Gaz was laying face down on the floor unable to move because of the amount of food she had consumed. All of us standing around laughing at her was not helping and I am thankful to this day that none of it came out.

Thanks for the memories you guys! I am most thankful for you!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Warrant out for my arrest

Just wanted to alert you all that you might be seeing me in a jail near you. I missed my jury duty. I've never been called for jury duty ever before, and I got called and then I rescheduled it


and then forgot about it because last week was the busiest of all weeks for me.

And so now, I might get arrested.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sometimes you just have to sing

I'm sure we all have songs we belt out at the top of our lungs when in the car by ourselves. I have my own list of obscure tunes that you might find on my iPod, but that I enjoy most when I randomly hear them on the radio.

Sister Christian, Night Ranger- Your motorin' what's your price for flight? In finding mister right. You'll be alright tonight.

Blaze of Glory, Bon Jovi- Shot down in a blaze of glory. Take me now, but know the truth. Shot down, in a blaze of glory. Lord I never drew first, but I drew first blood, I'm no one's son, call me Young Gun.

Ok, you know you are singing along now. Let's get off of the Monster Ballads. How about this one:

Frontin' with Pharrell and Jay-Z- I'm ready to bet it all, nevermind if I'm showin' off. I was just frontin', you know I want ya babe.


All I wanna do, Sheryl Crow- I like a good beer buzz early in the morning, and Billy likes to pull the labels from his bottle of Bud....All I wanna do is have some fun. I gotta feelin' I'm not the only one.

And most recently:

The Way I Are, Timbaland- I don't need the cheese and the car keys boy I like you just the way you are. Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip, I like you just the way you are.

If you have a song you just can't resist, no matter how good or bad, or mainstream, it is I'd love to hear about it. It makes for a good laugh.

Friday, November 16, 2007

People have nerve

On Thursday, I possibly had the busiest day I have ever had, and may ever have during my tenure at the firm.

In the process of catering to 480 attorneys and their mildly rediculous requests, which came on the eve of their all-important meetings, I was also getting all sorts of last minute requests the day of the all-important meetings and even after their all-important meetings had started. See, this week, almost all of the attorneys from the firm offices around the country and around the word descended on our office, the home office, in Houston.

Note- all meetings started at 3:00pm on Thursday

Request #1- 6pm Wednesday- Jen, I would like a Margarita party for 100 people with chips, queso, guac, and salsa. I would also like beer, wine and champaign.
*Easy enough, I, of course, pre-predicted reqeusts for beer and wine and made sure we were fully stocked for such requests. However when I called to get frozen margaritas for 100, my only option seemed to be a margarita machine, which we are not allowed to have because they trip breakers when we are running 16 PowerPoints on one floor. And they won't bring them pre-mixed because there is some crazy law that you cannot transport 8 vats of open liquor accross town. OK GREAT! How does one solve this problem? She finds hereself a restaurant that will totally violate the liquor laws of the great state of Texas. Thank God for law breakers.

Request #2- 6:30pm Wednesday evening- Jen, I would like a full bar with peanuts, pretzels and chips.
*Well, what does full bar mean? Beer and wine? Liquor with mixers? Do you need a bartender? I get all kinds of requests for "full bar" which doesn't actually mean full bar with bartender, but just means beer, wine and their favorite mixed drink, which they will make everyone drink because they are so fabulous that everyone should love what they choose for them. Yes, we have some pompus attorneys running around our office.

Request #3- 7:27pm Wednesday evening- See request #1, but for 75 people. Solution- the same.

Request #4- 2:30pm Wednesday afternoon- Ice cream party for 15. No problem, called the vendor, it's all ready for delivery Thursday at 1:00pm. This was the easiest.

Request #5- 2:45pm Thursday (day of, meetings starting at 3:00pm) I happen to walk into party #2 and get-- Jen, I didn't know we could get chips and queso for our parties. Can I get some now? Oh sure- I say. I do work wonders these days.

Request #6- 2:58pm Thursday (as I'm making sure everything is ready for the 3:00 meetings)- I get this email from an admin: Dear Jen, I need you to call me right away. I'm supposed to bring the turkey for the secretary pot-luck Thanksgiving luncheon, but I've had a family emergency pop up and I wanted to know if you could store the turkey, heat it up, slice it for me and take it to the potluck on Friday at noon. And I respond- Oh sure, in the middle of feeding 480 people lunch on Friday, I'll be sure to take care of your little turkey. NO! I cannot. Please people- take care of your own turkeys for your own Thanksgiving potlucks, or ask someone else in your department to do it, but I cannot help you. The kicker to this request is that she then procedes to call me from home on Friday asking if the person she did leave in charge of the turkey can borrow a knife from us. Again- NO! I can't lend out a knife when I have 3 chefs preparing food in my kitchen, all slicing beef tenderloin for your attorneys. Are you crazy- do you not know that all of your attorneys from all of the offices around the world are here having lunch in my Conference Center? When I refused to answer her emails and voicemails, she started calling my receptionists and making them page me on our wireless radios- that really pissed me off. Do you not think that if I had the time to call you or email you back that I would have. I finally told everyone- if Estella Byers calls, I'm not available, you don't even have to ask.

The great part about this week is that even with all of the maddness, I managed everything so smoothly that there was not one hiccup. My boss even said to me "I actually slept, knowing that you were in charge." and "Jen, you did an amazing job" and my favorite "I've never worked with someone before who I could truely collaborate with, and who holds the same things important." I feel really great about this last week. I think I'm mastering my career.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

It's Official- I'm a workaholic

This was definitely not supposed to happen to me. But it has. I left work at 9:06pm tonight. And this isn't the first time.

How do people do it? How do I do it? I don't know, but for some reason I just keep on plugging away. Do other people have the disease of never being done? Because I feel like it's just me out there in the "all work zone" by myself... well me and the 36 year old single females running Fortune 500 companies.

It seems like part of the problem is that I never finish. It's not that I'm inefficient, or atleast I don't think it is, but I can never just clear my desk, leave for the day and be happy about it. Maybe it's that I always see something that needs to be done. Maybe it's that I'm a perfectionist. Maybe I just like working so I constantly create more work. Well, whatever the reason, I work all of the time.

Atleast I love my job. It could be worse, I could be a workaholic at a job I loathe. And I have to take a moment to be thankful. I really needed a job change earlier this year, I asked God for it, went out into the world to go after it, and I got it! I am so grateful! Not many people get paid to do what they really love, get paid well, and feel a true sense of accomplishment. And I do.

Here's a big thank you to the Universe for aligning at the right time just for me.

Monday, November 12, 2007


I'm pretty good about finishing things in my life. I try to see everything through to the end. I try to put my all into something before calling it quits. No matter the sacrifice, no matter the pain, no matter the compromise. I have done it with volunteering gigs, work, relationships, friends and family. And then there's Double B's, the one thing that I cannot finish. I thought that by telling myself how to feel that I could overcome, that I would be able to let go. And after 6 years, it's still not working. Such a short time spent, and yet such an impact. And maybe I am the only one. But I have so many questions and so many things to share. I feel that if I could just sit across from you for an hour, see your face, hear your voice, see the joy in your demeanor, and hear how happy you are, that I could be finshed and move on. I need to close this chapter in my life, so that I can re-gain the hope to experience life to its fullest.

A very select few read me. I opened my unknown-to-most journal to you, which I hope you do read. I gave you the option to read, but may never know if you do. I am coming in three weeks. You owe me nothing. I want nothing more than to talk. Meet me, just for a minute.

Sunday, November 11, 2007


Gaz- I'm sorry I've been AWOL. You understand. Can I come over and get a cigar?

The Butler Theory

I have a theory...that a butler will solve all of a girl's problems, and most of a boy's problems.

First of all, a butler will cook and clean for you. Essentials! My life would be a million times less stressful if I could come home to a clean house and a home-cooked meal everyday. Wouldn't your life be less stressful if you didn't have to worry about those two basic chores? Of course the butler has a day off, so you still get your little homemaker day once or twice a week.

Second- the butler does yard work. Things like trimming the rose bushes, pulling weeds, re-mulching.

Pick-up dry cleaning- wow, your freshly pressed clothes, just show up in your closet. Not to mention general laundry duty.

Wow, now that I'm writing all of this down, it's even better than I originally thought.

And what about bugs and pests? Yes, your very own roach killer. In Texas we have huge roaches. They enter your house, no matter what. The butler would definitely take care of those for you. And those other pests- my friend Kristin had a mouse problem. See, she lived in a new sub-division where they were still doing construction and when they started a new house and cleared a field all of the rodents would run to the next lot over. She had just separated from her fiance when the problems were starting. A butler would have been such an asset.

Another great thing about the butler is that he would be a constant companion, without all of the expectation. No feelings, no your family/my family issues, no sex. It's a business relationship, professional and courteous. And, since you are providing room and board, he doesn't even cost much. It's a win, win, win situation.*

*Uhm...I'm not actually serious about any of this.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

3 things

One thing I love:
My housekeeper. I just came home from a long day at work, when I left, lots of things were in disarray- as I just came back from a trip and have a suitcase that exploded all over the place and a roommate who can't be bothered do do dishes. Now I have perfect lines in my carpet.

One thing I hate:
Women who walk awkwardly in high heals. I've seen I don't know how many just today. Ladies-- if you can walk gracefully in them, there are plenty of cute flats out there for you to wear. This may seem harsh, but you know the people who walk stiff legged with ankles wobbling side to side as if they were on ice skates for the first time. There is such a thing as finding your center and going with it. I encourage you to find your center or go with flats

One thing I need:
Drive thru Sushi. If only there was one. Within a 30 mile radius of my house. There is no one around here to eat sushi with, and I almost can't be bothered walking into a place, ordering, and waiting 15 minutes for them to roll my raw fish. Sometimes I just want it now.

Monday, November 5, 2007

The final table time

As of right now, I am having my final table time with Gaz and Maz. When we started tabletime on Thursday this table was completely clean and clear of all clutter. And can see how it has ended, and it's even worse now than when I took this photo.

A weekend filled with good food, great shopping, talk therapy, and writing therapy does a person good. The weekend ended with a great devotional at our good friend Holly's home and this quote is the most impactful one I have read in a long time:

"God has given man a heart and a heart must have some attachment. We have proved that nothing is completely worthy of our heart's devotion save reality, for all else is destined to perish. Therefore the heart is never at rest and never finds real joy and happiness until it attaches itself to the eternal."

Attaching myself to the real reality is difficult, as it is not tangable nor is it very present in my life right now. I need to find it again. But where do I start?

To my girls: Thank you for a wonderful weekend. There is nothing more sad than the thought of leaving your ever-presence tomorrow morning. I have purchased more things since the last time we purchased things together. I have had eaten more food that I actually like this weekend than the last time we were eating our way from the East over to the West side of Nashville. I have slept less hours than I would ever normally not sleep in a weekend. I have laughed harder than I have since the last time we laughed hard. I have enjoyed my days with you more than I enjoy any other days in my life. All my love, Jaz

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Crack up all day

You girls make me laugh.

Shopping for ugly shoes is way fun.

Golriz go to bed.

P.S. You are a walking poem.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Your Day

It's your day! We only get one a year, so please enjoy it. Don't spend the whole day building a fence. Also, don't wear *@%less chaps on Sunday. Thank you.

Thank you for the joy you brought to me yesterday. I laughed so hard with you. Thank you for laughing with me.

I want to celebrate you in this moment. You are a wonderment to me. I hold you in the highest of regards and I quite possibly always will. I think that you are one of the most genuine people that I have met in my life. There is no smoke or mirrors to you. Your true self shines brightly all the time. I love that about you. I love how you haven't let that change. I love that you allow your wants to come forward even when they shouldn't. I love that I can allow mine to come through as well. I will be forever indebted to your wonderful self, and I can never praise you enough for just being you. I will never be able to thank you enough for the safe and nurturing space you created for me, and still keep open for me. You are kind. You are lovely. You are you.

Being in the safe space you have created, I shared with you a thought over text. I hope I didn't scare you with my last message. But it is the truth. And I do think it is the truth for you too. Both of us are trying to live our lives in our present state. I find this to be so difficult. There are so many aspects of my life that are great. But some of the biggest elements are not. But because you create a safe space for me I am all freed up to share whatever I want. And so now I have possibly shared too much.

Friday, November 2, 2007

My Day

Today is my day. I started my day by staying up for the first 5 hours of it, sleeping the next 5, and now I've been up for a whopping 7.5. The day is still young, as I think we will all stay up 'til atleast 4am again. I'm having a real fun time. I've been shopping, getting a pedicure, we are planning Persian food for dinner, and some super fun shoe shopping for later. All of the elements are present: Golriz, Marabeth, shoes, spa time, Persian food. What else does a girl need on her birthday?

In the last 4 hours our plans have totally changed. And yet, things are still perfect. I had a long convo. with B of C. This is always a birthday treat- hopefully it will be a yearly call. This year was way silly. And fun, and we laughed out loud! It was such a fun 15 minutes. We ate at a super cutie cafe and Gaz sent a cookie-gram to a man who let her drink from his French soda glass. I also got a talkin' to about life, love and liberty. Those 3 things can be hard to swollow.

There are things in life we need to do and those same things we cannot bring ourselves to do. Making changes means leaving someone or something behind. Difficult? Definately.

Gaz and I decided that Tazo Teas are gross. And Starbucks burns their coffee to the point of bitterness.

Flight of the Conchords might possibly be the funniest show ever.

My friend Maz is amazing me today. She hasn't stopped amazing me all day. First of all she stayed up until 3:30am, like a rock star, with us, then proceeded to get up at 6:30am to go off to work. If you know anything about Maz, she may as well have climbed Everest. Then she was flawless in helping Gaz get through her total lie of food poisoning- the lie which helped Gaz to be off of work today so that she could entertain me today. The girl who gets busted 10 times out of 10 was in rare form today. I can't get over it. I can't get over her. Maz, I'm so proud! Sleep my child sleep.

Totally content

Right now, I am in Nashville, sitting around a table with the 2 most magnificent people I know. I couldn't be more happy. Tomorrow is my birthday and this is the best birthday prezzie I could ever have been given. These two people are a gift to me everyday of my life. From the moment they picked me up at the airport, it has been bliss. At the present moment, we are listening to soft somber music, smoking cigars in the chill of the night, while drinking tea and typing away on our respective laptops. I love being with my girls. The sand might be settling in my shoes again.

This birthday thing forces reflection. What have I done this past year? What will I do in the coming year? I will think of birthdays of the past. I think about my birthday next year. Should I set goals? What is important? I only have one year left of my life as we know it. I am sure that the days will pass quickly. This next year could be scary. I have come into my own once again. Why do I do that? Slip in and out of my own will? I should just stay in will. But it can be so easy to sway... at another person's whim.