Monday, January 26, 2009

The downfall starts

I knew that the days of my semi-charmed life would come to a swift conclusion. I knew that one day all of my shenanigans would catch up with me. And today may be that day.

First of all, Person A filed his Answer late Friday afternoon. My lawyer just received a copy of it this afternoon, which means I will not be going to court tomorrow to finalize everything. It also means that the finality of this part of my life will be prolonged. It's just a pain.

Second, I work with a caterer who is a friend. We are having all sorts of problems with some old invoices, which I can just feel coming down on my head. I will ultimately be blamed for the problems, no matter what. The buck stops at my desk and I will quite possibly be screwed in the whole deal.

The second issue might play into a third issue- it might prevent me from getting the NYC position.

I just feel the punishment coming on.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Excuses, excuses

I have a co-worker who has a co-worker who calls in late nearly every morning. I will refer to her as Rita in order to protect the identity of this individual. You should know that this person rarely arrives prior to 10:00am. Below is a sample of the excuses and reasoning for being late:

1. The standard "This is Rita. I'm sick, but I'll be in shortly"
2. Hey this is Rita, I'm at the dentist office. One of my my uh caps of one of my teeth came off. And he's going to put it back. I'm actually about to leave for there. As soon as I get that done, I'll be in. It's one of the caps on one of the teeth that somebody did a root canal on.
3. Hey this is Rita, I have Sugar (one of her dogs) at the vet. She is not acting right. She is laying around and not wanting to eat. They think she has ingested something that their just not sure about right now. They are running some tests. And as soon as they have the test results are on Sugar, it shouldn't be long, I'll be in. I'm just really concerned for her. I'll be in in a little bit.
4. Hey this is Rita. I'm stuck in freaking traffic. I don't know what's going on, but I'll be there as soon as I can. (FYI in Houston, the 4th largest city in the US of A, there is traffic at 8:15am)
5. I'm on my way, I'm still not feeling up to snuff, but I'm on my way in. Should be there in 30 minutes. Bye bye.
6. Hey this is Rita. I am on my way in. I was debating about whether to come in. I broke my finger moving furniture over the weekend and uh it was really hurting last night. Anyway, I'm on my way in as soon as I catch a bus. I think one comes around 20minutes to 10 (it's 8:16 when this voicemail is being left)or something like quarter to 10 and I'll see you in a bit. Bye.
7. Hey it's Rita. I am on my way in, I just wanted you to know, and didn't want you to worry. Be there in a few minutes. Bye bye.
8. This is Rita. I'm not feeling real well, so I'll probably be in between 9:30 and 10 (Shocker)
9. Hey this is Rita. I'm about 10 minutes from the office. The traffic has been horrible here. I've been sittin' on it for about 30 minutes. I expected to be in earlier than this. Anyway I just wanted you to know where I was. Uhm. It doesn't do me any good to try and get there. As it never seems to work out. I should be there in the next 10 to 15 minutes. OK, bye bye
10. Hey this is Rita. Uhm. This week sucks. I uhm forgot to set my alarm last night, so I uhm will be there shortly. I am so sorry, but I'll be there shortly.
11. *if only you could hear this one, the raspy voice makes all the difference* This is Rita, I'm still not feeling well, but I am coming in. It's just taking me a little while to get moving. But I will be in. Bye
12. This is Rita. I meant to get there early this morning, but it didn't work out that way. Uhhhh. And I have been sitting in traffic for atleast 45 minutes. I don't know what is wrong. It seems to be picking up a little bit. There must be a wreck or something. I'll be there in a little bit.
13. This is Rita. Running late. Hit my stupid off button instead of my snooze button. Be there shortly. Bye.
14. Hey this is Rita. It's about 5:30 in the morning and I have not been able to sleep with my back and I'm going to try to get in to a doctor today if someone can get me in. Because it hurts horrible for me to walk. And I probably won't be in today, but you can call me by my blackberry. Ok.
15. This is Rita. Listen I called the doctor's office and they said with the shot, the three days after the shot will be the worst. That's why today I am worse. Uh. So I'm going to stay home today and hopefully tomorrow it will be better. If you need me call me on my cell phone or contact me via blackberry. I might try to get on the computer for a minute if I can uhm manage it. Anyway, sorry about all this. It's just the way things are. Talk to you later. Bye bye.
16. This is Rita. I forgot to set my alarm again. I came home and dozed off and slept the whole night. I'm going to get dressed and head in as soon as I can.
17. This is Rita. I'm taking Sweet Pea (her other dog) into the vet this morning. She's been throwing up and not feeling good and having diahrea. I don't know if she got in to something or what. It shouldn't take too long, I'll be in as soon as I can.

This will go on and on, and you get the idea. Please do not think I have mis-typed anything, all of the sentance fragments and "uhm's" are actually there. I'm continuing my list with the cliff notes version:

18. Stepped on garbage bag that had broken glass in it and cut foot
19. Worked in the yard all weekend and is sore. Also had to deal with her niece who clearly has a severe case of ADD so she is emotionally worn out as well. Don't worry though, she's leaving at 3 today.
20 Dentist appointment, crown replacement. appt at 9:15, should be in 11:30 or sooner (later in the morning: crown didn't fit, took longer than expected. call don't e-mail if you need me, because it's against the law now to text while you drive.)
21. Problem with neighbor. Rang doorbell at 10:30 and she told him to go away. Rang again at 3:30 and he was drunk. She called the police; and her sister. Needless to say, she is super tired after all of that drama and will be in late.
22. Took 20 minutes to find a parking space
23. Went out this morning to find a flat tire. Have called service to come change. They should be here shortly. Be in as soon as I can. I think I should have taken this whole week off - it has not been a good one so far.
24. One of her dogs peed all over her even though she let her "wee wee" before they left the house.
25. Celebrated family birthdays over the weekend and got food poisoning from the Coke Floats. The ice cream was bad.
26. Claim agent just showed up as she was leaving the house to take an assessment of the hurricane damage done to her house.
27. Had to stop and pick up a prescription that she totally forgot the night before.
28. Took her car into the shop and decided to trade it in. A little new car shopping on your way to work never hurt anyone right?
29. Sick in the stomach, diahreah, taking immodium- basically way too much information
30. Dog ate a raw and a half potato (yes you read it how she said it)
31. Had to do some last minute packing (for an one night stay in Houston for work).

My co-worker and I have decided to co-write a book with excuses to miss or be late for work based soley on this person's daily voicemails. You won't want to miss the coffee table version.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A time for reflection

It has been such a long time since I sat in bed with my laptop and wrote all that was in my heart. Today I have been afforded the opportunity to do that and it feels so good. Sitting. Quietly. Alone. With only my thoughts.

I have recognized for quite a few months that the life I have been living would be temporary. A temporary band-aid for what was actually happening in my reality. You see, if you spend each day and night surrounded by people that you have limited to no connectivity to, you can easily stay distracted from all else in your life. Living in the day-to-day is so fun, and yet so unfulfilling at the same time. But I do not live with regret any more. And so I do not regret any of the time spent, or any of the places I frequent or the people I have been surrounded by. But I do realize that this fleeting time in my life is coming to an end. I feel it to my core. I think it in my mind and feel it in my stomach. This time was necessary to re-discover myself. And now that I have done so, I am preparing to settle back to a very happy medium where I have balance between real life and the fun distractions.

Tomorrow morning I find out if Person A has contested anything. And if he has not, then it is over. What could have been a battle will not happen. So I can begin the process of closing this chapter of my life. My dad arrives tomorrow to start work on my house, preparing it for market. I have already moved all of my earthly belongings back to my house and am ready to sleep in my own bed-- which I have not done in over two months. I need to start re-connecting with those people who are so special to me in my life, but who I have not called back for weeks and months. It's time to reel my life back in and it starts tomorrow.

This life lesson has taught me so much. It has provided me with the opportunity to grow and change as I have never done before. I feel as if God is preparing me for something great in my future, which is yet to be revealed-- a task which I could not have succeeded at without this. I recognize that my emotional strength is great right now and that my ability to forgive is vast. It has brought certain people, whom I would call my angels, closer to me. This experience has shown me what my true priorities are and that I can embrace them in a hierarchy that will not impair my station in this world.

I just have to mention these individuals who have stepped forward to keep me safe:

Double B's- if I did not have the knowledge of what it is like to be cherished and loved completely unconditionally, I could never have gone through this. Experiencing what you gave me 7 years ago, gave me the hope that I could have it again. Thank you for respecting me, believing in me, loving me, and accepting me exactly the way that I am. Your continued presence in my life pulls my heartstrings, but gives me hope that one day I will be loved as you once loved me.

KK- you were there on the first night, offering shelter and compassion and hearing my every word for months, day in and day out. I can never repay you for the support you provided me and continue to provide for me.

Court- you present yourself daily, "just checking in" to make sure I am ok. And though often times I am overwhelmed and do not call you back, I am so glad that you are there anytime I pick up the phone. Thank you for being patient and loving, even when I wasn't the greatest on the other end.

Linda- who I think has officially re-named me "Damn It Jen" loves me so unconditionally that I don't even understand it. I have been so terrible at keeping up the communication lines, and yet you still thwart your sisterly/motherly love on me constantly. I love you so much and thank you for your persistence.

Jules- You rescued me when I was in the lowest of low places. That day that I realized I could no longer stay in my house by myself- you pulled me out. And everyday that I would go home and get into bed to sleep away the depression and my reality, you pulled me out. And still to this day, despite the extreme hardships you endure, you continue to pull me out of my slumps. You are there with me during my highs and refuse to let me have lows.

Gold Reeves- Where do I start? You and I have been through it all together. Our bond never weakening- EVER! For you to lend support even when you yourself were going through great trauma will take a lifetime for me to re-pay. You are there for me no matter the day or time, no matter what I am going through or what you are going through. You and I will always be.

There are so many others of you out there who have cared for me, and I thank you. I will be working fervently to redistribute my energies back to those I love.

Monday, January 19, 2009


A truly inspiring individual has entered my life. And I thank you for this afternoon. How refreshing the conversation and the exchange of ideas. How inspiring to have every word that comes out of your mouth be an ideal that I hold near and dear to me. Your thoughts about universally educating children and your desire to contribute to that movement, your passion for the arts and changing souls through this channel, and your outlook on how you treat and interact with people alligns with mine identically. I must say, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world to know that the relationship can be had, that two human beings, no matter gender, race or economic background can connect on another plain.

In one way our afternoon helped bring me back to my core. In another way it elevated me to new heights.

Never stop reinventing yourself from the inside out. And I promise to do the same.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Mint vs. Cinnamon

I've decided that I no longer like mint things. Like mint gum and mint toothpaste. So I'm going cinnamon.

Friday, January 9, 2009

I could have danced all night

Thursday I left work very excited about the possibilities that evening. It was Latin night at one of our favorite clubs. We hadn't been on a Thursday night in quite some time, so who knows what shenanegins were about to ensue. And ensue they did.

The dancing started with Julia's friend. She doesn't salsa, so he and I joined up for the dance off. He spun me around all over the place. It was only afterward that he disclosed that he was a Mexican dance champion. And I kept up. Then it was onto the gay Hispanic kid- who could move and shake with the best of them. By the end, the line of men standing around the dance with the only white girl who could actually dance was rediculous. It was so fun. I was truly the darling of the salsa club this week!