Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Butler Theory

I have a theory...that a butler will solve all of a girl's problems, and most of a boy's problems.

First of all, a butler will cook and clean for you. Essentials! My life would be a million times less stressful if I could come home to a clean house and a home-cooked meal everyday. Wouldn't your life be less stressful if you didn't have to worry about those two basic chores? Of course the butler has a day off, so you still get your little homemaker day once or twice a week.

Second- the butler does yard work. Things like trimming the rose bushes, pulling weeds, re-mulching.

Pick-up dry cleaning- wow, your freshly pressed clothes, just show up in your closet. Not to mention general laundry duty.

Wow, now that I'm writing all of this down, it's even better than I originally thought.

And what about bugs and pests? Yes, your very own roach killer. In Texas we have huge roaches. They enter your house, no matter what. The butler would definitely take care of those for you. And those other pests- my friend Kristin had a mouse problem. See, she lived in a new sub-division where they were still doing construction and when they started a new house and cleared a field all of the rodents would run to the next lot over. She had just separated from her fiance when the problems were starting. A butler would have been such an asset.

Another great thing about the butler is that he would be a constant companion, without all of the expectation. No feelings, no your family/my family issues, no sex. It's a business relationship, professional and courteous. And, since you are providing room and board, he doesn't even cost much. It's a win, win, win situation.*

*Uhm...I'm not actually serious about any of this.

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