Last week I took a great trip to Nashville to visit my girls (as seen in photos below). I had a relaxing time with lots of hookah, sleep and scrabble. But then I have to fly back to my real life. And so I board the plane as I have so many times over the last 18 months to fly home from a destination that I have escaped to. Only this time, I got off of the plane and walked the lonely walk to my car parked in long-term parking, and realized that there was not one person in Houston to call who actually cared that I made it home safely. No family, no significant other, no best friend. And I also realized that at this moment in time, I am no body's "Number 1", no body's first priority. I could pretty much fall out of the sky and the only people who would notice are those at work when they realize that Conference Room 25C has no lunch. Then the lonely feeling got even worse when I realized that my entire purpose here is to work. All I do is work and come home to sleep. Now I'm even more depressed, like who cares? What does work get you anyway? Nothing but paying bills. And there's another situation I'm in...every dime of every paycheck goes to bills right now. Not by any fault of my own, not that I've wracked up a boat load of debt which I'm now trying to get out from under. No, I'm just paying for a lifestyle for two with one income. And now the new plasma tv and the black leather couch you just bought are pissing me off to no end. The fact that I just had to replace the fence in the back yard and buy a new hot water heater just to keep going is really chapping my ass.
So I spent the last week in a horrible mood, waking up on the wrong side of the bed every morning, to the point where the grouchy member of my staff even said to me "Jen when are you going to be out of this bad mood?"
And all I want to do is run away. Sell everything and run away. Start over in a new place, with new priorities, and new friends and hopefully a new significant other.
Until then you can find me in bed, away from everything.
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