My favorite Holy Day

I know it's awful to have a "favorite" of the Holy Days, but the Ascension is by far my fav. I don't think we ever celebrated as a kid, as waking up at 3am to commemorate a holy day would be crazy with school the next day. But when you are a semi-adult living in the spiritual center of your Faith, getting up at 2am, driving an hour, attending a holy day at Bahji, and eating pancakes before crashing out is the best day of your whole year. It's magic at Bahji in the middle of the night- to look out across the gardens that surround the resting place of the Most Holy One and see lights speckled throughout. To see people in mass, and yet to see them be so quiet and peaceful and serene. To visit the room where He took His last breath, to prostrate in humbleness to the Gift that you have been given in the place and at the time He passed to the Next World. I am in awe just thinking about it.

And so tonight I have committed myself to attend a less glorious location of the commemoration of this day. I have also committed myself to driving over half of God's concrete Houston to pick up a couple people and take them with me. I'll get no sleep and be a wreck tomorrow, but I can handle it. I love this day.

And so this evening I spent at a friend's house surrounded by random people all working on different things, most painting and drawing and me writing. I'm taking some time to write, which I haven't done in a while and to think, and listen to the awesome selection of music chosen for the evening's gathering. Loving the selection of everything tonight.

Style inspired by Gold Reeves

Dear people who hang clothes back on the racks at Marshall's after we shop:

Please stop mistaking the 4's for 14's and placing the 4's in the 14's section, even worse placing the 2's in the 12's section. How about this, why don't you fill up the 2's and 4's with 12's and 14's, as I feel the 2's and 4's have a far greater chance of being 12's and 14's than we 12's and 14's of being 2's and 4's.

Seriously,
Size 12

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Dear people who worry wayyyy too much about what I'm doing and not about what you are doing:

Get a freakin' life. This is mine, these are my actions, my relationships, my problems. Get your own. There's only one of me and I'm taken.

Thank you

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Dear guy riding his motorcycle to work in a shirt and tie:

You make me smile! Giggle. Actually laugh out loud. As I ride to work, after having drudged down the highway and snaked through the city streets of Houston, rushing and running red lights to try to arrive less than 15 minutes late- you are a sight for stressed eyes.

Signed,
Downtown Commuters Everywhere


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Dear Double B's,

Can you come over and have a cup of coffee with me? Sorry to be in this space with you again, but I'd really like to hang out. Anytime, anywhere- you tell me and I'll be there.

Missing you,
j.

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

Dedicated to me

I'm adding this song to the soundtrack of my life for this year:

I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom drawer
I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air
I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don't want to be your babysitter
You're a very big boy now
I don't want to be your mother
I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to be the sweeper of the eggshells that you walk upon
I don't want to be your other half I believe that 1 and 1 make 2
I don't want to be your food or the light from the fridge
on your face at midnight
Hey what are you hungry for
I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don't want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights
I don't want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week
I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart
and its wounded beat
I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling
What do you thank me
What do you thank me for

Alanis

Sheer happiness

These two people are in my living room and I am so happy.

Saturday morning Shower

I try to plan nothing on Saturday mornings. Nothing except my shower. On Saturday mornings I take an eternal hot shower. I love it, look forward to it. Everything from a min facial, to body scrub to actually doing a good job of shaving my legs. The hot water running over my tired-from-an-exhausting-week body is bliss. Actually conditioning my hair and slathering my whole self with lotion afterward- it's just good times. Every other day of the week I just take a quickie- 5 minutes- hair, face, body wash and out. So I relish Saturday mornings and the un-rushedness about it. It's actually me time and not V & E time, or Person A time or needy friend time.

I love a beautiful day

This morning I woke up in my friend Linda's house, where the breeze was blowing right through as she had both front and back doors propped open. When I stepped on the back porch where she was reading, there was a tray lovingly placed out with two warm pastries from the oven, a cup of coffee and fresh squeezed orange juice. It was like waking up in heaven.

The evening prior we had spent calling on the Concourse for assistance with my current situation and praying for confirmations. You don't need to fully grasp the details of my current situation, but if you read this blog and you can add me to your prayer list, please just pray for confirmations for me.

From now on, I think my Saturday nights will be spent out at Linda's, in the country where my soul can rest and be away from everything but God.

Please refrain

I feel badly for people who make statements based on what they think and not what is actually true. I especially feel badly for people who are so wrapped up in their emotions that they cannot control themselves and choose to barrage others with unnecessary comments.

I like to think that I am somewhat wise in this area. My mom and dad were always careful to not say unwarranted things to each other and never about others. Their sensitivity to the feelings of others was such a great example to me and I only try to meet their level.

A sincere prayer

Dear God,

I stand before you, at this time, asking for clarity. Clarity of mind so that I may make the right decision. Clarity of body so that I may be at my best for my health. Clarity of spirit so that I may do your bidding. Please, please begin to make it clear. My will is your will, just guide me to that point of clarity.

Thank you,

j.

Random photos taken on the go

We call this Mount Rush Hour in Houston. It popped up from one day to the next. One day Cherie and I were driving to work and it wasn't there, and then the next day it was there. What it's purpose is, I'll never know. It has now been enscripted with "A Tribute to American Heritage". I don't know, but I'm sure some dude was paid a lot of money to make such a useless thing for us all to look at on our way to work.



If I am driving around and see a car/truck/van/motorcycle advertising a catering company, I jot it down. If I'm driving I just take a picture of it so I don't forget by the time I get back to the office-- yes I work all of the time.



To document when gas actually reached $3.50



Horrible as it is, this is what I had for breakfast Friday morning- a cupcake and breakfast taco. It was delish!



Sight worthy of documenting. This guy was not only walking around with his hair like this, but he was also wearing a "Flock of Seagulls" t-shirt. I almost peed in my pants. I also almost stopped and asked to take a picture of him up close- I was borderline paparazzi in Pei Wei today.

For Jen N-M

Just because you asked, do I post this blog. I have nothing really to say tonight about any of the goings on in my life. But because I love you so much, here are some thoughts about my day:

My boss made me go to Popeye's chicken today. I don't eat fast food, much less deep fried battered fatty chicken. I am so sick right now. Please, if anyone of you hear me going to eat Popeyes, remind me of this day in history, May 6, 2008. After we ate at the Popeyes, which is an experience in and of itself in Downtown Houston, she made me go shopping at Macy's. Macy's is my signature downfall-- of course I found 3 suits that I cannot live without and a couple of pair of shoes. Did I mention that I had to carry a bag of chicken around in Macy's to take to one of my co-workers? So here I am smelling like chicken carrying around a bag of chicken in Macy's. It's a picture.

I love the song Lorelei by David Gray- download it. I love him singing and playing in a minor key, it's so soothing coming from him.

I was reminded today that no matter how bad your hair looks, if you put a fabulous pair of sunglasses on top of your head, you will be HOT!

I am going to take up residency at my office. I may as well. Today I almost broke down after the 3rd person called me after I was supposed to be gone for the day to order lunch for their meeting tomorrow- just kill me now. I worked another 2 hours extra tonight. Not that my life is all that exciting right now, but I really just wanted to go home.

I took the longest most fabulous shower tonight: one to wash the chicken stench off of me and two to forego my cigar in an attempt to ween myself. Not that I'm a smoker, but I am so conscience about it that I'm trying to not be addicted to something I'm not actually addicted to.

I am so excited about my weekend, I am having a full, fabulous and free weekend- I scored free baseball tickets on Thursday night, free Opera tickets on Friday night and am going to a free performance by the Ballet on Saturday night.

I have to write my YOP letter- dreading it, scared, don't know what to say. Thank God LSA was cancelled tonight. I was having performance anxiety.

My schedule is still messed up from weeks of madness. I want to sleep at 6am, and be up all night, but 6am is shower time, not sleepy time and so the two are clashing badly. Please internal clock, get adjusted where I need you.

"The Wanderer" stole a banana after a meeting today- caught her red-handed, "Lanners" was in rare form and I thought she was going to have a breakdown over bacon today, and "D.P" took a breakfast taco right off of a serving cart that one of my attendants was wheeling to the employee lounge- so glad I don't have a massive food compulsion. I think working around food actually makes me not want it. When I get home, I don't even want to eat.

That's all I got! Thanks for reading, I hope it entertained you during feedings! Love you.

What I love about Blogging

The release of it all- there are very few topics I think and feel that I choose not to write about. If there is a topic I don't want to be out and out about, I just "write cryptically" and that takes care of the problem. After a long day, or a relaxing day, or if I see a little something funny, or sad news I need to get off my chest, I can turn to this. I've never written before this last year. I just woke up one day and decided I had a whole lot to say and no one in particular to say it to. Gold Reeves had a blog that I read and so I decided to start this one. And thank God I did, I think it keeps me sane, it's like intense therapy-- I don't have to sensor.

No rules, just right- when I was growing up I was a horrible writer, I was never one to be able to express myself on paper. I was an oral communicator. Because of this gift, the gift of writing was never mine, for I wrote how I spoke, and while charismatic as my speaking is, it doesn't bode well for 5 paragraph formal essays. And so I was told that I couldn't write and so I never have unless required. During my years at M & M I had to write a lot of business compositions. Through the coaching of my boss I learned how to translate my charisma into persuasive letters and memos. I became quite good at it and now am teaching my new boss my ways. The thing I love about the blog though, is that I can write in whatever style I wish. No one is grading, examining, checking grammar and spelling. I make up words, use my acronyms and crazy phrases as I please. Gold Reeves says that when when she reads me she hears me talking- I love it.

Getting addicted to other people's blogs- when you have a blog, you read other people's blogs and they, in return, read yours back. It's a crazy phenomenon we having going on here in cyberspace, but I love it. If I want to catch up with someone in the middle of the night, I just log on and read their work, see what they are doing with their day, their hopes and dreams come across, funny things that happen to them-- it makes me feel connected to the people I really love in my life, but whom I don't necessarily speak with constantly. At the top of my list of people who I wish would Blog- Mazza, KK, and Double B's. Mazza because I think her blog would the funniest thing I have ever read and KK because I think she has a lot to say about her life, but doesn't- I think it would be a great release for you too! Double B's- I have no idea what it is, but there is something not right with you at this time in your life and I would love to have a safe place for you to communicate with me about it.

My loyal readers- I cannot thank you enough, it makes me feel so good when you call me and tell me that you've read, or when you leave comments, or make reference about something we've never had a convo about-- I know you care and I know you read. I often times gear my blog entries to an individual-- and you should know who you are when it happens. There are secrets I hold with each of you. Love it when Captain D leaves me little messages about me making him "cry" (dramatic as it may be). I love that Jen N-M "reads me religiously" and that KK and Court call me to remind me to blog if I haven't in a day. LOVE that Double B's lets me know when he's read something I wrote about him ;) Love that Gold Reeves loves my writing, as I respect her writing so much! And there are so many more of you and I love that you hang in there with me and support me as I embark on each new journey of my life!

Any given evening

You can find me, on any given evening these days, lounging in the backyard with my MAC, my phone, sparkling water and a cigarillo-- in total relax mode. The weather has been so nice, and as written before, it is irresistible for me to not be out in the wide open sky when I can. I am loving this time of year, breezy and cool as it is. It will pass soon, but for now- you know where to find me.

In other news...I think the backdoor neighbors might be having sex in or around the pool tonight--not that I can see, just hear.

College ironing resurrected

College ironing- you know where you throw your wrinkled article of clothing into the dryer with a damp towel and roll it around until said article of clothing is just presentable enough to be seen in out in public...

I am an adult, I have a house, I drive a nice car, I work for the most prestigious law firm in the US and yet, I am often reduced, in a mad frenzy, to college ironing. A few weeks ago I was in KC visiting with the entire family for Grammy's 85th Birthday (as you all know) and we had to resurrect the college ironing because we were crunched for time between one meal and the next not to mention that all of my clothing had been smashed up in a tiny suitcase.

I have to admit that I also college iron, on occasion, before work- even my suits--GASP! Shhhhh

Quote of the day

"The sex before the storm." --Anonymous

For *some* men in my life

Why is it that you think you get it all and we get nothing?

Can you tell me when this became ok?
The last time I checked
it was not only your physical obligation
but your spiritual obligation as well

If you think that we will take care of your
physical
spiritual
and sexual needs
birth and raise your offspring
feed your ego
be your sole financial supporter
and receive nothing in return
You should go back and read your manbook

For your survival, please get over yourself.

36-3

I'm sitting here wondering how it is possible that I have been awake and mostly working for 36 hours and when I get home to crash it out I only sleep for 3. That makes me 36 and 3. The problem with not sleeping when you really know you should be sleeping is that you get frustrated with the whole situation and it actually prevents you from having the ability to sleep.

It just started raining, I'm going to give it another go.