You run away. Are you running now? You communicated with me, what are you doing? Is your purpose to get me in a room to beat me up? Or are you really ready to talk about the problems and issues? But are you running? Now that life on the other side of town has become so awful and complicated, are you running back to me? When the dust clears, will you tend to me, or will I be ceaselessly tending to you? And I am afraid I will turn back into the character in the book I am currenly reading:
If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog’s money, my dog’s time- everything. I will carry for you all of your pain, I will assume for you all of your debts, I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that there is almost no way to recover my energy.