Please don't let them destroy my house

That's a direct quote from my aunt whom with I live. She has gone away for the weekend to Martha's Vineyard and my 25 year-old cousin was granted permission to throw a party here at the house. This house is a beautiful house, please keep that in mind. A 100 year-old carriage house in a little village just north of NYC. It is very quaint and very cute. After an entire day of thirty 25 year-olds descending on it here is the scene:

- ping pong table in the front yard with a thick coating of beer from numerous rounds of beer pong
- slip and slide with hose made for 6 year-olds
- 4,000 empty beer cans
- every dish, cup and utensil from my aunt's kitchen strewn all over the front porch
- food particles laying all over her wrought iron table
- loud music blasting from the front porch
- hooping and hollering from yet another intense game of Beer Ruth

I tried my best to keep everything clean as we went, fulling cleaning after round one of eating. Round two ensued when I was taking a nap at 8pm and now the task of picking up is way too daunting. Tomorrow morning is not going to be fun.

Rain rain go away

I'm sure you'll be back some other day (sooner than I would like)

So it has literally rained every-single-day since I moved here three months ago. The only time it does not rain is when I am in Houston or DC. Even if the day starts off sunny you can be assured that it will end with a shower.

There are two things I should have purchased the minute I got into this crazy rainy city: 1. a rain coat and 2. UGGs.

I think everyone in the city is suffering from that syndrome where you get depressed from not enough exposure to the sun (Gold Reeves could you please chime in and give me the name). A lot of people in Alaska have it apparently, but now it has caught on in NY- like a trend.

I'm depressed especially now because the poor US Open is getting rained and flooded out. It's insane. I don't think this has ever happened in the history of golf. It's madness!

If your name is Courtney or Mazza and you are coming to visit this weekend- bring you waist high rain suit, galoshes and an umbrella!

I am looking for

A bright green comforter. Grass green to be specific. Please send in your submissions. I kind of like this one from Crate & Barrel...

I need one of these

for my golf bag of course.

Best closers

____________________________________________
Message Typed by Old Thumbs, So Forgive Misspellings

This was the signature line on an email I received from an old guy. I love it!

Rootless Tree

I've been formulating this blog entry in my head for weeks now. Unsure how to capture just what it is that I'm going through in this phase of my life.

Then the other day KK sent me this video.


And I realized that maybe I'm just a rootless tree.

So the gist of my entire being right now is that I woke up the other day wondering if this is it. As in...is all I have to look forward to everyday in this world getting up and going to work? Climbing the corporate ladder? I mean what if life deals me nothing more? Can I get ok with this? I just don't know.

The last time I was in Houston and spending an evening with The OZ, I realized that I don't really have the feelings for him that I once thought I would or could. On this night I felt sad that I didn't want anything more to do with him than maybe hanging out here and there. There was no pain in my stomach, no sorrow to leave on a plane the next day, nothing really. But the overwhelming feeling that I did have was that I might never feel love again. Here I've been hung up on this person for nearly a year and I wasn't feeling it. My stomach may never jump after anyone. And there may not be another person that I actually desire to spend every moment with. On the other side of the coin...no one may ever love me, adore me, or think I'm really great. Then this sadness lead to other realities, like I will wake up in an empty house every morning. I'll never have the pitter patter of little feet throughout my days. And my poor poor brother will be the only one who will be around.

It may just be a short period that this goes on for, but for the last month I've been dealing with it, hoping something will pull me out. But I may just be a rootless tree forever.

Dear Most Favorite Person

Today is probably my favorite person on the Earth's birthday. Every year on my birthday I get a card from you that reads something like this:

puzzles.israeli coffee.goodonya.zereshk.shoes.you can sleep when you're dead.tea.dido.bahai dictionary.passionate.lemon almonds.kathy grammer.salt & vinegar chips.bbq stains on my white t-shirt.lime.lime.lime.turkey plucking.haifa.hour glasses.birds.cameras.pomegranate.laugh 'til you can't breath.articulate.lovely day.pumpkin pie.blogging.gazza.dance parties while mazza sleeps.self worth.hatzionut.sour lollies.intuitive.seeds.lemonana.strong woman.

And I wish I could find the words to express how lovely, wonderful, amazing and strong this woman is, but it will never add up to the whole and entirety of who you really are! I love you and hope you had a fabulous day!

Trust

A couple of weeks ago I was told my a pshycic that I have major trust issues. I found it interesting that this was like the first thing out of his mouth after getting my date and time of birth.

My initial response was to deny it of course. And so I did verbally. But as soon as it came out of my mouth I knew I was lying. And I thought about trust on a much deeper level- and realized that I trust very few people to the core of my being. I have, thus far, identified three people who I feel I could completely lay my life in their hands and I feel confident in my safety and well-being. These individuals would actually put my life before theirs. Complete and unconditional love actually exist between me and these people. I rarely put myself in situations, and in fact hate to put myself there, where I actually have to rely on someone else for anything. But on every occassion they have come through for me. If they say they will be there, they are there. If they say they will do something, it's done. I don't have to bat an eye, it doesn't have to stay on my brain for one more second. They don't cancel plans and they aren't late. And the only thanks I can give is to extend the courtesy right back to you.

Eternally Grateful

Thank you Julie Dee Smith for the gift of this song, which is so fitting for my life right now. I am currently listening to it no less than 12 times a day.

A crowning moment in my life

Observations

1. New Yorkers need to start using salt- everything would taste much better
2. I didn't realize, until today, how dirty your feet can actually get when traipsing around the city in flip flops
3. Whether I'm sleeping on the train or engrossed in a newspaper, I am always alert and looking out the window when crossing over the Hudson River
4. It has rained nearly everyday since I have lived here, that's about 8 weeks folks
5. Life is much better now that I have an IPOD again
6. This city has made me become the incredible shrinking woman- everyday there is a new pair of pants or skirt that just doesn't fit anymore
7. I think New Yorkers are meddlers in general- like someone is always in your business when they shouldn't be
8. I actually miss Houston- yes I said it
9. I woke up the other morning and realized that once again, I have no where to thwart my love
10. I'm going to post about 12 entries today, thus making me the ultimate slacker at work

I needed that

Dear B.J.,

Thank you for the non stop stream of entertainment today. Our New York Office sucks a bit, and I'm really down about being here right now. But the joy that I received from the initial email, then the follow up story and the final comment of the day kept me going.

Thank you!

Jen

Excuses, excuses- Part 2

"You will beat me! I have accidentally loked me out of my bedroom. My neighbor is trying to help me unlock it, but so far not successful." -this an exact quote from our good friend Ms. Rita, the excuse giver.

I, of course, promptly forwarded this to Gold Reeves, who in turn sent me this reply email:

"dddddyyyyyyying of laughter.
holymolycakes."

So between the material that B.J. and I have compiled and Gold Reeves' new business contact, we believe that the long awaited coffee table book entitled (but only after numerous revisions) "My dog ate a raw and a half potato, and other Great Excuses to be Late to the Office" should be arriving in book stores by the end of the year.

And just in case you were wondering what the whole story of above mentioned "locking out of the bedroom" was, well...it's better than anyone could have imagined:

She was about to get into the shower when sweet pea took her knee-high out of her shoe on the floor and started running away with it. She had to chase the dog down, afraid she would choke on said stocking, and closed her bedroom door on the way out so the dog wouldn't go back in there and get into anything else. Naked in her living room, she realized the door was locked and couldn't be opened. Luckily, there was a box of garage sale clothes in the garage that she rummaged through in order to get to the neighbor's house to ask for assistance. Neighbor came over and saved the day by removing the hinges, not jam, and let her back in her room where the shower had been running for two hours. --Narrative by B.J.

My weekend in Washington

Last weekend I accomplished the following:

1. Hung out with a great friend
2. Ate some really good food- Lemongrass fish, with a side of man sauce
3. The shopping victory of the year
4. Bought a great antique watch- it's a wind up, but it's the best watch I've ever had, with a price tag of $9.95
5. Made a beaded bracelet with fourteen 8 year-olds
6. Caught up on much needed sleep
7. Filled myself with love from the Bahaiim
8. Saw a great concert
9. Did a drive by on the big white house
10. Decided that I really liked DC

Vocabulary Entry #2

Please keep in mind that this is a direct quote in reference to a partner's son:

"He is the splitting image of his father."

A victory like none other

The last 8 months of my life have been filled with crazy dating scenarios which I have refrained from disclosing completely to protect myself while in the midst of my divorce. Now that everything is final, I might start sharing some of them, as they are highly entertaining. The few people that I do share these vignettes with laugh out loud because, as unbelievable as it is, yes, the world is filled with men like the one I am about to write about.

I'll call him Oz...that is his name, even though it seems very made up. Oz and I met last summer at a bar/lounge in Houston that I was frequenting. I was actually interested in his friend, who was very good looking, and not so much into Oz himself. But somehow Oz wound up with my number and came to the house that night to hang out with Julia and I and whoever else showed up at the Beverly Hill Hotel, as it is now called. It was 4am and the next day I probably had the biggest gig of my life, the 500 person wedding with 8 performances. And yet I stayed up talking and making out with Oz all night. I think I slept 3hours that night (shocker). At 9am I woke up Oz because I had to go- he begged me to stay for 10 minutes more, but I refused. The reality was that I had a big day ahead of me and you, whom I just met, are very insignificant.

Two days and many text messages and phone calls later, Oz spent the night at my house and then proceeded to fall off the face of the planet. I will spare you most of the details but a typical week would go like this:

Receive text message from Oz
Respond
Get NO response from Oz
See him out at a club that night
Make plans to hook up at 3am after clubbing and late night eating was over
Oz passes out in his car somewhere and never shows up- supposedly
Oz calls the next day to apologize, Jen sets the record straight
The whole cycle starts all over again

Then things get really strange... I start seeing him everywhere that I go. I can't go to a bar, a club, a lounge, an eatery, anywhere on any given night of the week without him showing up. And I'm just minding my own business- not even looking for him. Then, at some point when I see him out, he starts completely ignoring me. Acting as if he has no idea who I am and yet, every time I whip around on the dance floor at a club he's staring right at me. I can't get away from him and I can't get close to him. It begins to drive me mad. So I go into extreme combat mode- I too begin to completely ignore him while out.

Then I move.

Then I go home for a visit last weekend. I'm not in Houston for an hour and see his car at the CVS when Julia and I stop to pick up some asprin or something. There was no actual spotting of his face, since we avoided him and got in and out as quickly as possible, but nonetheless...he was around. That night at VanBuuren we look below our stunning VIP Booth and see he and his best friend standing and looking up at us. Then Saturday night I drive past the late night eatery and there is his car, again. I had to seize the opportunity. I went in to find him alone sitting at the bar eating. With no hesitation, I just plopped down next to him and started talking. We walked out and I said "well, I guess I'll see you in 6 weeks." He looked puzzled and asked why I would see him in 6 weeks. I said, well I don't live here anymore but will be back for a visit in 6 weeks, and in case you haven't noticed, we have the same social schedule and I am sure that I will run into you. I also made a couple of other references about his incessant going out and "misbehaving", comments which he was highly offended by. Comments which prompted him to walk around to my side of the car, put his hands on either side of my face and stick his tongue down my throat. I WIN! Finally victory is mine. At some point, I pulled away and said "I have to go now" and got in my car and drove off as quickly as I could, shaking after the whole scene. I didn't care what happened after that. I just know that I won. About 5 minutes later I get the first text message, summoning me to him to continue what we had started in the parking lot. I, of course, oblige because I just couldn't resist. The next morning I woke up, informed him that I had to go, kissed him and left him standing in his apartment alone and am still feeling the pangs of the victory.

Tales from the Train

Every morning I wake up at 6:30, shower, get dressed, make my coffee and rush out the door with my Aunt and Cousin to head into the city. My Aunt and I find seats on the train and nestle in for the 50 minute commute to Grand Central Station.

I've gotten to be a real commuter over the last four weeks. There is a whole strategy involved in mastering the public transportation system in NYC. You know you are accomplished when you can identify the exact spot on the platform where the doors for the train will open, and select which end of the train you will take your seat on according to where you will be heading once you arrive, and when you get the point where you don't even look at the conductor when he's asking you for your ticket, but instead flash the inside of your wallet at him-- you've arrived. You must always read something on the train. If you aren't reading, you are clearly an amateur. Also, there is no talking. If my Aunt and I are on the train sipping our coffee and reading the Times and two women get on who are talking, we look at each other and mouth the words "talkers" to each other, snicker and look back down at the paper. There is also a whole strategy in choosing the right seat and maintaining some personal space around you. We have it down. We sit in the seating areas right by the doors with seats facing each other and place our bags on the seat beside us- then we honker down and read. We have figured out that if you create an invisible force field of attitude around you, you get to retain your space. It's an art form at this point.

Then there is the crisis and victory which goes along with professional commuting. The other night I was hanging out with a co-worker watching basketball until late. Now I don't have a car so once I get off the train at home, either my aunt has to pick me up or I take a cab from the station to her house. Well I didn't realize the cabs stop running so early from my normal train stop, so I reserved a cab from a larger station in the next town over for 1:00am. I had to catch the 12:06 to make it in time. It was a Friday night and I was about 18 blocks away. I left the bar with plenty of time to catch a cab and make it to Grand Central for the train. But every cab was already taken, so I started walking in the direction of G.C. thinking that at some point I'll grab a cab the rest of the way. Well I didn't and the next thing I know it's 11:59 and I am 6 blocks away. So I start running with a huge bag that contains any earthly possession you might need when commuting - an umbrella, a change of shoes, copious amounts of reading materials. And I run into Grand Central glance at the board see that my train is on the first track inside the doors and make a B-line for the gate. I run onto the train just as the beeping sound started going off and the doors started to close. I MADE IT! Victory!

The next night I went into the city to shop and hang out and caught the 9:22 back out to Chappequa. Well... I wasn't in a hurry this night because I had a rental car at the lot and didn't have to pay for a cab or ask my aunt to go out of her way to get me late. And then, I fell asleep on the train. I've never done that before. And as I wake up, we are pulling away from my stop where I have a car and am only 10 minutes from my bed. So I had to get off at the next stop- the stop with all of the cabs, pay to take a cab back to the other train station and delay my sleeping time by 35 minutes. Crisis.

The thing about public transportation is that there is always something crazy to experience.

An article I read today

Today I was reading on the train- par usual. I read an article about how this 17 year old in the UK painted a gigantic penis on the roof of his house hoping that it would show up on Google Earth. A helicopter pilot happened to spot it from the sky and reported the art to the owner of the house, the boy's father. When the father asked "son, did you paint a penis on our roof?" the boy responded "oh, you found it?"

I have yet to stop laughing.

A weekend to remember

There are so many details to share about this last weekend in Houston. Needless to say I was in rare form, outdoing myself every second- and a bit out of control. Here are my stats:

Dancing- 9 hours total
Making out with my boyfriends- 6 hours total (don't judge me)
Sleeping- 5 hours total
Getting my house together- 6 hours total
Just hanging out- 20 hours
Flying time- 7.5 hours total

It made for a great 48 hour period of my life.

Vocabulary

I have to keep you all entertained with the vocabulary of my co-worker, which I mentioned in an earlier post. Here are a few more:

Loot- "Jen, please keep me in the loot with what is going on in the Conference Center."

All Informed (and a cameo by loot) "Jen, if you make a change to the schedule, please keep me in the loot as I need to be the all informed." (sounded like a title of a profit from God, but who am I to say?)

Oh and today it was a turquoise blue shirt with, you guessed it, turquoise eye shadow.

I'm in a New York state of mind...

I should have...could have... been blogging for days now about my experiences and observations since my arrival in New York, but it's all going to come down to one entry, so that I can get caught up, then start fresh tomorrow.

1 My office- it's great so far. The most surprising thing is that the attorneys in my office are very friendly and accessible. In the Houston office we would rarely dream of just walking into an attorney's office to chit chat, but in the New York office it's sort of standard practice. Everyone is very friendly and very excited that I have arrived. I'm taking the week to sit back and evaluate what madness is going on in the office and what needs improvement. There are a lot of things. For example- the main receptionist. Where do I start--oh yeah, how about the fact that her eye shadow matches her hand bag and shoes everyday. Sometimes her handbag is metallic pink. Here are a few excerpts from her vocabulary:

Pacific- "I am very pacific when it comes to ordering sandwiches for the attorneys."

Notary of the Republic- apparently we have them in the office, but I usually call them Public Notaries. I'm still trying to figure out if they are the same thing.

Gourmet- it has a "t" on the end, and you pronounce it.

Then there's my new gay friend Jason, who's the IT guy- Travis you've been replaced. J/K

Next week I start the revamping of the office. And there are going to be a lot of unhappy people running around. I'm changing everything-- from the way we schedule conference rooms to the way we order food, to where we order food from. Also the HR lady, who is trying to be a fan of mine, but actually hates the idea that everyone loves me already, is returning to the office on Monday-- that should be fun.

2. My commute- Here is my general route (by landmark). We wind thru the hills of Westchester County, passing by the world headquarters for Reader's Digest, then drive by the home of the Clinton's (yes, Bill and Hillary) and drop my cousin off at school. Then my aunt and I drive to the cute little train station and hop the 7:37 train into Grand Central Station. We read the New York Times and drink coffee from our travel mugs. I then get off of the train and walk down 43rd Street crossing over Madison Avenue to get to 5th Avenue. I then pass De Beers and Tiffany, Louis Vitton and Yves St. Laurent. I stop and pick up an almond pastry to snack on as I walk. It's rough, I know.

3. The City- The pace is fast, I haven't walked this much since living in Haifa. But it's great. I'm hoping that my walking outweighs my almond pastry addiction in the long run. I feel as if I'm going to eat my way from one end of NYC to the other. The street food is irresistible. You can get any type of food in portable form. You get really good at navigating the streets with the traffic and all of the people, but today I had to raise my learning curve-- navigating the streets with umbrellas in play. I'm shocked that I still have two eye balls.

I am having a great time. The change of scenery has been really good for me. I like knowing that I'm not going to see the same things each and every day. I like the newness of the job and getting to create everything from scratch. I like being able to actually apply my knowledge and skills and make changes on the daily. It has become like a little adventure and I like it!

Just read this from

Rainn Wilson

#31

I was reminded of this one after a phone call with Gold Reeves:

31. Care for my heart like it is your most precious treasure.

One final post

I have deleted your voicemails and every message I have ever received from you. I have erased your number from my phone. I will write of you no more. Nor will I think about you. The final piece of me, which was holding on to you has let go. Please do the same and be with your family.

What I really want

I've spent time over the last couple of months formulating a list of the qualities and specifications for anyone I may date, and ultimately my spouse. Warning- some are superficial, some practical, and some downright demanding. Sexually explicit content is included. Also...these are in no particular order.

1. You must love to dance, added to my list of things which truly make me happy is dancing. If you won't take me out dancing, and dance with me, I won't know what to do with you.
2. Play golf- I'm not saying you have to be an expert, but I love to get up on the weekends and go to the golf course.
3. Have a job, which provides enough income to pay for yourself, your hobbies and your car.
4. Own a car, preferably nicer than mine- not for status but for responsibility.
5. Own a house, condo, loft- anything. It doesn't have to be fancy, but you displaying ownership of something means you have some sense of responsibility and sensibility.
6. Think recycling is important.
7. You will embrace the fact (and maybe even crack the eggs) that I bake an exorbitant amount of zucchini bread every February for Ayyam-i-Ha.
8. Can you please match my enthusiasm for the little things in life, the little victories.
9. Have your own relationship with God, whatever that may be. Know and believe in a higher power.
10. You must love to travel and have no prejudice as to where or when.
11. Have a general attitude of "whatever, whenever, however."
12. Know and understand that my birthday is the one day that I actually focus on me- I love my one day and want to be pampered to the max.
13. Self govern your comments and your emotions, I am not responsible for your outbursts, nor will I engage in a battle in an attempt to correct you.
14. Know when to say "I'm sorry"- it doesn't make you less of a man to admit your mistakes, and I ultimately will respect you more.
15. Respect my body like the house of the soul that it is. If you just need a place to put your penis, please go elsewhere.
16. You will want children, preferably 3.
17. You will love the fact that I treat every household occurrence such as birthday parties, vacations and in-law visits like an event, and there may be a folder associated with it on my desk.
18. Do not criticize my cooking, if you don't like it too bad, eat it anyway and cook yourself the next night. I, in turn, will never criticize yours.
19. Please have friends of your own, and have hobbies and activities independent of me, as I would like to do the same.
20. I subscribe to Martha Stewart Magazine, please don't hate.
21. I will be a stay at home mom, I'm looking forward to the bounty. Call me traditional, but motherhood is the most important job on the planet and you will do everything you can to make sure I can be around during our kids' early years.
22. I am sick, and at times will need to be taken care of.
23. I choose to have one tv in the house, and almost never turn it on. I would rather read, write and interact with one another than watch tv.
24. You would rather eat at the hole in the wall Thai place down the road than have grilled chicken and mashed potatoes.
25. I smoke cigars occasionally, it would be fun to smoke them together.
26. Back me up, no matter what. We are a team and I will need your support.
27. Be appreciative of all that I do for you, because I will go to the ends of the earth in order to make you happy. Please work thank you into your daily vocabulary.
28. Help me create a 100% honest environment. I need to feel safe saying what I need to say, when I need to say it.
29. Please play cards, I love to have friends over to play Pinochle and Spades or even Poker.
30. I like to watch baseball and golf- I know it's strange. I will watch football with you if you watch baseball with me.

The downfall starts

I knew that the days of my semi-charmed life would come to a swift conclusion. I knew that one day all of my shenanigans would catch up with me. And today may be that day.

First of all, Person A filed his Answer late Friday afternoon. My lawyer just received a copy of it this afternoon, which means I will not be going to court tomorrow to finalize everything. It also means that the finality of this part of my life will be prolonged. It's just a pain.

Second, I work with a caterer who is a friend. We are having all sorts of problems with some old invoices, which I can just feel coming down on my head. I will ultimately be blamed for the problems, no matter what. The buck stops at my desk and I will quite possibly be screwed in the whole deal.

The second issue might play into a third issue- it might prevent me from getting the NYC position.

I just feel the punishment coming on.

Excuses, excuses

I have a co-worker who has a co-worker who calls in late nearly every morning. I will refer to her as Rita in order to protect the identity of this individual. You should know that this person rarely arrives prior to 10:00am. Below is a sample of the excuses and reasoning for being late:

1. The standard "This is Rita. I'm sick, but I'll be in shortly"
2. Hey this is Rita, I'm at the dentist office. One of my my uh caps of one of my teeth came off. And he's going to put it back. I'm actually about to leave for there. As soon as I get that done, I'll be in. It's one of the caps on one of the teeth that somebody did a root canal on.
3. Hey this is Rita, I have Sugar (one of her dogs) at the vet. She is not acting right. She is laying around and not wanting to eat. They think she has ingested something that their just not sure about right now. They are running some tests. And as soon as they have the test results are on Sugar, it shouldn't be long, I'll be in. I'm just really concerned for her. I'll be in in a little bit.
4. Hey this is Rita. I'm stuck in freaking traffic. I don't know what's going on, but I'll be there as soon as I can. (FYI in Houston, the 4th largest city in the US of A, there is traffic at 8:15am)
5. I'm on my way, I'm still not feeling up to snuff, but I'm on my way in. Should be there in 30 minutes. Bye bye.
6. Hey this is Rita. I am on my way in. I was debating about whether to come in. I broke my finger moving furniture over the weekend and uh it was really hurting last night. Anyway, I'm on my way in as soon as I catch a bus. I think one comes around 20minutes to 10 (it's 8:16 when this voicemail is being left)or something like quarter to 10 and I'll see you in a bit. Bye.
7. Hey it's Rita. I am on my way in, I just wanted you to know, and didn't want you to worry. Be there in a few minutes. Bye bye.
8. This is Rita. I'm not feeling real well, so I'll probably be in between 9:30 and 10 (Shocker)
9. Hey this is Rita. I'm about 10 minutes from the office. The traffic has been horrible here. I've been sittin' on it for about 30 minutes. I expected to be in earlier than this. Anyway I just wanted you to know where I was. Uhm. It doesn't do me any good to try and get there. As it never seems to work out. I should be there in the next 10 to 15 minutes. OK, bye bye
10. Hey this is Rita. Uhm. This week sucks. I uhm forgot to set my alarm last night, so I uhm will be there shortly. I am so sorry, but I'll be there shortly.
11. *if only you could hear this one, the raspy voice makes all the difference* This is Rita, I'm still not feeling well, but I am coming in. It's just taking me a little while to get moving. But I will be in. Bye
12. This is Rita. I meant to get there early this morning, but it didn't work out that way. Uhhhh. And I have been sitting in traffic for atleast 45 minutes. I don't know what is wrong. It seems to be picking up a little bit. There must be a wreck or something. I'll be there in a little bit.
13. This is Rita. Running late. Hit my stupid off button instead of my snooze button. Be there shortly. Bye.
14. Hey this is Rita. It's about 5:30 in the morning and I have not been able to sleep with my back and I'm going to try to get in to a doctor today if someone can get me in. Because it hurts horrible for me to walk. And I probably won't be in today, but you can call me by my blackberry. Ok.
15. This is Rita. Listen I called the doctor's office and they said with the shot, the three days after the shot will be the worst. That's why today I am worse. Uh. So I'm going to stay home today and hopefully tomorrow it will be better. If you need me call me on my cell phone or contact me via blackberry. I might try to get on the computer for a minute if I can uhm manage it. Anyway, sorry about all this. It's just the way things are. Talk to you later. Bye bye.
16. This is Rita. I forgot to set my alarm again. I came home and dozed off and slept the whole night. I'm going to get dressed and head in as soon as I can.
17. This is Rita. I'm taking Sweet Pea (her other dog) into the vet this morning. She's been throwing up and not feeling good and having diahrea. I don't know if she got in to something or what. It shouldn't take too long, I'll be in as soon as I can.

This will go on and on, and you get the idea. Please do not think I have mis-typed anything, all of the sentance fragments and "uhm's" are actually there. I'm continuing my list with the cliff notes version:

18. Stepped on garbage bag that had broken glass in it and cut foot
19. Worked in the yard all weekend and is sore. Also had to deal with her niece who clearly has a severe case of ADD so she is emotionally worn out as well. Don't worry though, she's leaving at 3 today.
20 Dentist appointment, crown replacement. appt at 9:15, should be in 11:30 or sooner (later in the morning: crown didn't fit, took longer than expected. call don't e-mail if you need me, because it's against the law now to text while you drive.)
21. Problem with neighbor. Rang doorbell at 10:30 and she told him to go away. Rang again at 3:30 and he was drunk. She called the police; and her sister. Needless to say, she is super tired after all of that drama and will be in late.
22. Took 20 minutes to find a parking space
23. Went out this morning to find a flat tire. Have called service to come change. They should be here shortly. Be in as soon as I can. I think I should have taken this whole week off - it has not been a good one so far.
24. One of her dogs peed all over her even though she let her "wee wee" before they left the house.
25. Celebrated family birthdays over the weekend and got food poisoning from the Coke Floats. The ice cream was bad.
26. Claim agent just showed up as she was leaving the house to take an assessment of the hurricane damage done to her house.
27. Had to stop and pick up a prescription that she totally forgot the night before.
28. Took her car into the shop and decided to trade it in. A little new car shopping on your way to work never hurt anyone right?
29. Sick in the stomach, diahreah, taking immodium- basically way too much information
30. Dog ate a raw and a half potato (yes you read it how she said it)
31. Had to do some last minute packing (for an one night stay in Houston for work).

My co-worker and I have decided to co-write a book with excuses to miss or be late for work based soley on this person's daily voicemails. You won't want to miss the coffee table version.

A time for reflection

It has been such a long time since I sat in bed with my laptop and wrote all that was in my heart. Today I have been afforded the opportunity to do that and it feels so good. Sitting. Quietly. Alone. With only my thoughts.

I have recognized for quite a few months that the life I have been living would be temporary. A temporary band-aid for what was actually happening in my reality. You see, if you spend each day and night surrounded by people that you have limited to no connectivity to, you can easily stay distracted from all else in your life. Living in the day-to-day is so fun, and yet so unfulfilling at the same time. But I do not live with regret any more. And so I do not regret any of the time spent, or any of the places I frequent or the people I have been surrounded by. But I do realize that this fleeting time in my life is coming to an end. I feel it to my core. I think it in my mind and feel it in my stomach. This time was necessary to re-discover myself. And now that I have done so, I am preparing to settle back to a very happy medium where I have balance between real life and the fun distractions.

Tomorrow morning I find out if Person A has contested anything. And if he has not, then it is over. What could have been a battle will not happen. So I can begin the process of closing this chapter of my life. My dad arrives tomorrow to start work on my house, preparing it for market. I have already moved all of my earthly belongings back to my house and am ready to sleep in my own bed-- which I have not done in over two months. I need to start re-connecting with those people who are so special to me in my life, but who I have not called back for weeks and months. It's time to reel my life back in and it starts tomorrow.

This life lesson has taught me so much. It has provided me with the opportunity to grow and change as I have never done before. I feel as if God is preparing me for something great in my future, which is yet to be revealed-- a task which I could not have succeeded at without this. I recognize that my emotional strength is great right now and that my ability to forgive is vast. It has brought certain people, whom I would call my angels, closer to me. This experience has shown me what my true priorities are and that I can embrace them in a hierarchy that will not impair my station in this world.

I just have to mention these individuals who have stepped forward to keep me safe:

Double B's- if I did not have the knowledge of what it is like to be cherished and loved completely unconditionally, I could never have gone through this. Experiencing what you gave me 7 years ago, gave me the hope that I could have it again. Thank you for respecting me, believing in me, loving me, and accepting me exactly the way that I am. Your continued presence in my life pulls my heartstrings, but gives me hope that one day I will be loved as you once loved me.

KK- you were there on the first night, offering shelter and compassion and hearing my every word for months, day in and day out. I can never repay you for the support you provided me and continue to provide for me.

Court- you present yourself daily, "just checking in" to make sure I am ok. And though often times I am overwhelmed and do not call you back, I am so glad that you are there anytime I pick up the phone. Thank you for being patient and loving, even when I wasn't the greatest on the other end.

Linda- who I think has officially re-named me "Damn It Jen" loves me so unconditionally that I don't even understand it. I have been so terrible at keeping up the communication lines, and yet you still thwart your sisterly/motherly love on me constantly. I love you so much and thank you for your persistence.

Jules- You rescued me when I was in the lowest of low places. That day that I realized I could no longer stay in my house by myself- you pulled me out. And everyday that I would go home and get into bed to sleep away the depression and my reality, you pulled me out. And still to this day, despite the extreme hardships you endure, you continue to pull me out of my slumps. You are there with me during my highs and refuse to let me have lows.

Gold Reeves- Where do I start? You and I have been through it all together. Our bond never weakening- EVER! For you to lend support even when you yourself were going through great trauma will take a lifetime for me to re-pay. You are there for me no matter the day or time, no matter what I am going through or what you are going through. You and I will always be.

There are so many others of you out there who have cared for me, and I thank you. I will be working fervently to redistribute my energies back to those I love.

Inspired

A truly inspiring individual has entered my life. And I thank you for this afternoon. How refreshing the conversation and the exchange of ideas. How inspiring to have every word that comes out of your mouth be an ideal that I hold near and dear to me. Your thoughts about universally educating children and your desire to contribute to that movement, your passion for the arts and changing souls through this channel, and your outlook on how you treat and interact with people alligns with mine identically. I must say, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world to know that the relationship can be had, that two human beings, no matter gender, race or economic background can connect on another plain.

In one way our afternoon helped bring me back to my core. In another way it elevated me to new heights.

Never stop reinventing yourself from the inside out. And I promise to do the same.

Mint vs. Cinnamon

I've decided that I no longer like mint things. Like mint gum and mint toothpaste. So I'm going cinnamon.

I could have danced all night

Thursday I left work very excited about the possibilities that evening. It was Latin night at one of our favorite clubs. We hadn't been on a Thursday night in quite some time, so who knows what shenanegins were about to ensue. And ensue they did.

The dancing started with Julia's friend. She doesn't salsa, so he and I joined up for the dance off. He spun me around all over the place. It was only afterward that he disclosed that he was a Mexican dance champion. And I kept up. Then it was onto the gay Hispanic kid- who could move and shake with the best of them. By the end, the line of men standing around the dance with the only white girl who could actually dance was rediculous. It was so fun. I was truly the darling of the salsa club this week!