It's been one wild summer

Things I had never experienced before I met you:

1. I've never driven an H1
2. I've never pulled a boat
3. I've never driven an H1 pulling a boat
4. I've never driven a Porsche for that matter either
5. I've never spent the night in overly rich peoples' homes
6. I've never seen the inside of a strip club
7. I've never skinny dipped
8. I've never saved so much money by going out every single night
9. I've never smoked cigars for six consecutive nights, for weeks on end
10. I've never had a purse stolen from a club
11. I've never made out with someone for whom I didn't know his name
12. I've never had to recap so many evenings the morning after
13. I've never been so close to missing a flight before
14. I've never made out with anyone in the elevator at work
15. I've never had to act as "Switzerland" so much
16. I've never eaten so much and lost so much weight
17. I've never had so few hours of sleep over the course of months
18. I've never been so close to staying at the Ritz
19. I've never been kicked out of a night club
20. I've never been a member at the elite health club in town
21. I've never thrown dollar bills at Indian women who can't dance
22. I've never bailed anyone out of jail

Thanks for the summer I will never forget!