Tonight Maz carried us through an excercise in finding what our true dreams in life are. It was interesting to me to see which things were easy for me to identify and which things I was totally stumped on.
Easy to identify- my dream life. This is so easy: being a mom; a super career woman, planning events and wheelin' and dealin'; kicking Lupus' ass once and for all; having a bustling household filled with fun events with a random mix of people,.
Hard to identify- Immediate plan of action. I realized that I am very fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants right now. I couldn't identify things to do to work toward my goal that I could start on immediately. I finally came up with: stop eating pastries at work; find a new request for God; create a project for myself, which I later identified as cleaning all of the clutter from my house. Yes, that's pretty much waht I came up with.
Easy to identify- where I will be in 2010. Living in Boulder, in a little condo downtown; event planning for a huge company; in a healthy relationship wiht a whole person who completely understands me and I understand him; being active in the Baha'i community.
Hard to identify- where I am in the present. I just don't know how I feel or how I'm operating right now. I'm so stoic about my current situation, that it's almost scary. I did identify that: I am light in emotion and heavy in weight; I'm bored and lonely; I am career focussed; I have a loving family.
It's jus such an interesting activity to go through. I am having difficulty knowing if I am in denial or if I am at peace with my current situation. And it could all change tomorrow. I am having difficulty setting immediate goals but have no problem seeing into the future. How the two ends connect, I am unsure of, but hey always seem to meet up and be perfect.