The habitual liar

I've encountered a habitual liar, he has now become quite the comedic relief in my life lately:

Lie #1- I'm 27

Lie #2- I haven't worked in over a year- I was almost killed in a car accident and was awarded a cool 3 mil and have been living off of that. Do you remember when Matthew McConaughey hit that guy in a drunk driving accident? That was me. After the accident, all of these lawyers started calling me and I was awarded the 3 million.

Lie #3- Don't be alarmed by the baby stuff in my apartment, I love having my brother's kid over, I'm a good uncle.

Lie #4- I am married and have 2 kids.

Lie #5- I'm a drug dealer, and that girl bought a kilo of coke from me and never paid. She owes me 2 grand.

Lie #6- which may actually be the truth. I work 3 jobs, I'm a VP of a Bank, I wait tables at PF Changs and I work for a catering company on the weekends. I was, at one time, in love with this girl- we had the perfect life, she was great, we were great together. I thought I was so fabulous that I cheated on her and she broke up with me, I was devastated, so I ran around sleeping with every girl I could find. In the matter of a year I got 2 girls pregnant, they both decided to have the babies and now I'm paying over $1,200 per month in child support. So I have to work 3 jobs just to make ends meet. My life sucks, and tomorrow I'm going to disappear, I can't keep doing this.

See you at Pandora next week, I'm sure....