Thursday, October 18, 2007


Last week I was faced with a hard, cold realization. The choices we make are ours and we are the only ones who have that right. I am responsible for the choices I make and have made.

Another quote- the most difficult I've had to swollow in a long time "making a choice means leaving something or someone behind."

I'm at this turning point again where it might be time to make some difficult choices, difficult meaning leaving someone or something behind. I'm not sure what to do with that, but it hurts. One minute, I'm ready. The next, I'm not. Something has to give, as I cannot remain this way indefinately. Has the pain of same become greater than the possible pain of change? I'm not there yet, but I am feeling the pangs and emotion of it all.

How do you measure love? I have always felt that it was part emotional, part spiritual, and part practical. Does one part carry more weight than the others? Walk a spiritual path with practical feet. That's what He says. But what if the emotion is gone? In the words of Gaz- what if I'm a vegetable? And what happens when people you carry emotion for take advantage? Is emotional damage reversable? I think I hurt someone so badly that it may never be repaired. In the process I have hurt myself beyond repair. Can you recover? Can I recover? Can you recover? What does it take? I lined out some steps hoping to repair:

B of C
Person a.

By the end, will it have helped me? If it doesn't I don't know what else to do.

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