Rain rain go away

I'm sure you'll be back some other day (sooner than I would like)

So it has literally rained every-single-day since I moved here three months ago. The only time it does not rain is when I am in Houston or DC. Even if the day starts off sunny you can be assured that it will end with a shower.

There are two things I should have purchased the minute I got into this crazy rainy city: 1. a rain coat and 2. UGGs.

I think everyone in the city is suffering from that syndrome where you get depressed from not enough exposure to the sun (Gold Reeves could you please chime in and give me the name). A lot of people in Alaska have it apparently, but now it has caught on in NY- like a trend.

I'm depressed especially now because the poor US Open is getting rained and flooded out. It's insane. I don't think this has ever happened in the history of golf. It's madness!

If your name is Courtney or Mazza and you are coming to visit this weekend- bring you waist high rain suit, galoshes and an umbrella!

I am looking for

A bright green comforter. Grass green to be specific. Please send in your submissions. I kind of like this one from Crate & Barrel...

I need one of these

for my golf bag of course.

Best closers

____________________________________________
Message Typed by Old Thumbs, So Forgive Misspellings

This was the signature line on an email I received from an old guy. I love it!

Rootless Tree

I've been formulating this blog entry in my head for weeks now. Unsure how to capture just what it is that I'm going through in this phase of my life.

Then the other day KK sent me this video.


And I realized that maybe I'm just a rootless tree.

So the gist of my entire being right now is that I woke up the other day wondering if this is it. As in...is all I have to look forward to everyday in this world getting up and going to work? Climbing the corporate ladder? I mean what if life deals me nothing more? Can I get ok with this? I just don't know.

The last time I was in Houston and spending an evening with The OZ, I realized that I don't really have the feelings for him that I once thought I would or could. On this night I felt sad that I didn't want anything more to do with him than maybe hanging out here and there. There was no pain in my stomach, no sorrow to leave on a plane the next day, nothing really. But the overwhelming feeling that I did have was that I might never feel love again. Here I've been hung up on this person for nearly a year and I wasn't feeling it. My stomach may never jump after anyone. And there may not be another person that I actually desire to spend every moment with. On the other side of the coin...no one may ever love me, adore me, or think I'm really great. Then this sadness lead to other realities, like I will wake up in an empty house every morning. I'll never have the pitter patter of little feet throughout my days. And my poor poor brother will be the only one who will be around.

It may just be a short period that this goes on for, but for the last month I've been dealing with it, hoping something will pull me out. But I may just be a rootless tree forever.

Dear Most Favorite Person

Today is probably my favorite person on the Earth's birthday. Every year on my birthday I get a card from you that reads something like this:

puzzles.israeli coffee.goodonya.zereshk.shoes.you can sleep when you're dead.tea.dido.bahai dictionary.passionate.lemon almonds.kathy grammer.salt & vinegar chips.bbq stains on my white t-shirt.lime.lime.lime.turkey plucking.haifa.hour glasses.birds.cameras.pomegranate.laugh 'til you can't breath.articulate.lovely day.pumpkin pie.blogging.gazza.dance parties while mazza sleeps.self worth.hatzionut.sour lollies.intuitive.seeds.lemonana.strong woman.

And I wish I could find the words to express how lovely, wonderful, amazing and strong this woman is, but it will never add up to the whole and entirety of who you really are! I love you and hope you had a fabulous day!

Trust

A couple of weeks ago I was told my a pshycic that I have major trust issues. I found it interesting that this was like the first thing out of his mouth after getting my date and time of birth.

My initial response was to deny it of course. And so I did verbally. But as soon as it came out of my mouth I knew I was lying. And I thought about trust on a much deeper level- and realized that I trust very few people to the core of my being. I have, thus far, identified three people who I feel I could completely lay my life in their hands and I feel confident in my safety and well-being. These individuals would actually put my life before theirs. Complete and unconditional love actually exist between me and these people. I rarely put myself in situations, and in fact hate to put myself there, where I actually have to rely on someone else for anything. But on every occassion they have come through for me. If they say they will be there, they are there. If they say they will do something, it's done. I don't have to bat an eye, it doesn't have to stay on my brain for one more second. They don't cancel plans and they aren't late. And the only thanks I can give is to extend the courtesy right back to you.